A Day in the Life of the Danas

Baby Dana version 2.0

2011-04-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

So, we are delighted to finally announce that Kate is going to be a big sister! I am due at the end of October but am likely to deliver earlier than that based on how my first pregnancy progressed. We are hoping to keep Baby Dana version 2.0 incubating for at least 35 weeks if not more and can use all of our loved ones' positive thoughts and prayers that it will happen. In the meantime, I am overcoming some serious fatigue, mild but persistent nausea and headaches and hoping they lessen or abate in another week or so.

Kate does not quite understand what all of this means or what being a big sister entails, except that her mama is not as eager to engage in as much dance and physical play. However, she was intrigued by the nurse's use of the doppler to find a heartbeat and the ba-bum-ba-bum galloping of the fetus's heartbeat. She wants me to repeat this story multiple times with sound effects in response to her question of why I was at the doctor's office, and she refers to it as the "heartbeeps." A play doctor's kit with a working stethoscope is now in order, since she was fascinated that we all have "heartbeeps."

2010 Year in Review

2011-01-07T00:37:00.003-05:00

Welcome friends. This is late, and so are our Christmas cards that just went in the mail box. That is just how we roll.

I keep saying that, “I love this age,” and then Kate grows older, and I say, “no, really. I really love this age.” Kate is now 28 months old, and I really love this age. This summer and fall, we did lots of traveling and memory creating. Kate is babbling incessantly (much to the chagrin of her daddy who can’t seem to avoid constant babbling from the women in his life) and making more and more sense. She sings the ABC song but skips the "L, M, N, O" section. She identifies letters and other items on posters, signs and billboards, which makes car trips a bit more entertaining. The other day in the car, she stated with thoughtful reflection: “Mama, I love to dance.” This is quite true. She also recently commented (with some coaching): “Mama is a goofball.” This is also true.

Auntie Brittany taught her this, and it stuck.

Everything that remotely resembles a phone now becomes one.

Toddler Kate-isms 2010 Edition

DADDY: (Pointing to one on front lawn) This is a dandelion.

KATE: (Hearing “Dandy Lion”) Roarrrr!

While reading a book about a pet dragon named Custard, I asked Kate if she had a pet dragon. She said she did. Surprised, I asked what her pet dragon's name was, and she replied: "Kate Dragon." She now adds “Kate” before every type of “pet” animal she acquires.

One evening, Kate asked for a word to describe the humidifier/vaporizer in her room. At first, she said something resembling "humidifier," then she said "hair on fire!" and laughed, until she began hiccoughing.

Chris and I are having entirely too much fun as a result of Kate's current pronunciation of "coo-coo clock." We are furiously trying to work on her “ls.”

Kate enjoys standing atop an upside down bucket while attempting to dance and sing nonsensical lyrics at the top of her lungs, pausing and waiting for my applause. Lately, her lyrics make more sense, and she uses her large crayons as pretend microphones during her impromptu singing and dancing performances. One day, she was heard singing "'winkle, 'winkle, little stars...wowa under what you are. . . next time won't you sing with Mama?"

Obligatory Strange Health Problem

In February, I suffered from what looked like a flesh-eating virus. What started out as a suspected sinus infection spread across my face as a painful, hot redness. Chris urged me to go to urgent care, and they were alarmed and unsure what was going on. After visiting urgent care and my primary doctor 4 times, we determined that it was cellulitis, a bacterial skin infection. I received antibiotic injections and Prednisone that kicked it and the nagging pain in my pelvic joint since Sept. '09.

Later that month, at age 34, I also finally had my bottom 2 wisdom teeth surgically extracted. People thought I was nuts to do it without sedation, but honestly, if I can endure a C-section without being put under, a bit of pain in my mouth post-surgery is not a problem. The oral surgeon was so relaxed and talked with me throughout the procedure. And, despite the ominous introductory DVD they show you before the procedure warning of possible loss of taste and tongue sensations, recovery was swift with no complications.

My primary doctor also put me on BP medication. While Zumba-ing, I almost fainted. Fortunately, she listened to me and halved my dose. I hope to eliminate it altogether through weight loss, a healthy diet and exercise.

Extreme Easter

In April, we attended "Operation Extreme Egg Drop" at a local church. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a bunch of plastic eggs filled with candy are dropped from a helicopter in a field. This is a competitive sport and not for the weak or small! Unfortunately, Kate and I were not aggressive enough compared with the other under 3 set. We only recovered empty plastic shells. She had more luck at an egg hunt organized by a member of our working mom's play group a few weeks later. Thanks, Belen and Rich!

Before we dropped Kate off at her Nana's house

Iridescent Anniversary (and an Engagement)

We celebrated our 3rd anniversary in grand fashion by attending Detroit Restaurant Week and dining at Iridescence atop the Motor City Casino. Chris ordered a 5 course tasting menu, and we were delighted with everything we tasted from top to bottom. It was also our first experience with controversial foie gras (stuffed duck liver.) Earlier that day, we had our first Chuck 'e Cheese experience. It was quite a juxtaposition.

Even more important than the news of Prince William’s recent engagement, my sister, Brittany, and her fabulous long time boyfriend, Josh, got engaged on Easter weekend. We are so excited for them. Their nuptials are scheduled for June 2012 after she finishes her engineering degree at Michigan Tech. I am so proud of her! Kate will be their flower girl, I a bridesmaid and Chris will be their photographer.

Congrats, Brit & Josh!

Summer Road Tripping 2010

In June, we took a junket to the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island as a family for my professional leadership conference. We had 5 course dinners at the hotel but usually only made it to the 4th course before Kate would announce "all done!" and demand to leave immediately. This helped my diet. She also rocked it out with the band during dinner to the amusement of the extremely attentive staff. One of the strangely almost all Jamaican waiters asked her, "So, what's your name, sweetie?" Kate's response: "Me." Of course.

That same month, Chris finished our backyard storage shed with materials gifted by his Mom and brother. It turned out wonderfully with the assistance of our neighbor and friend, Mike. He also stained the deck a color that complemented the house and shed and planted even more colorful flowers and fruits and vegetables.

July found us in Minneapolis for our friends Amber and Travis’s nuptials. Chris photographed their wedding, and they put us up in a hotel with an indoor water park. I am not sure who had more fun at the water park – Chris or Kate. As a happy diversion, Kate and I visited my old grade school friend, Stephanie, and her family who now live in Minneapolis. We played in the sand and sun of a metro beach and mediated disputes over baby doll strollers. After the wedding, we also hit up the Mall of America and its indoor amusement park, Lego Land and left with a new American Girl doll. On our way home, we met our friends, the Ablers, at Madison, Wisconsin’s zoo with their two boys before heading home.

At the water park


Playing with her friend Gretchen at a Minneapolis Public beach

Kate and her friend Ty on Pine Lake in Michigan

Just before Labor Day, Kate and I attempted to eek out the last gasp of summer by spending an afternoon at our friend’s parents’ Lake House on Pine Lake. We shared good grilling food, water toys and watched 2-year-olds discover burying their feet in the sand and filling and dumping sand from buckets and dump trucks. Kate and Dora were explorers. During our “fast boat ride,” Kate and Ty excitedly pointed out the colorful buoys (AKA “boobies” in toddler speak.) Onya and I surprised each other when we pulled off our shirts to reveal the exact same swim suit top with different bottoms we recently purchased separately.

Onya and me - The Kohl's Catalog

Kate and Dora - the Explorers

We made our ritual trip to Manitowoc, WI over Labor Day Weekend to see the Abler Family. As usual, it was full of laughter and hijinx. The kids had fun, too. We attended a kite festival along Lake Michigan. We went to a science museum and out for sushi in Milwaukee. And we went to Sam’s Club for some ahi tuna. This is what happens when scientists, toddlers and foodies collide.

Matthew, Kate and Benjamin

Chris - The Rock Star!

In August, Chris volunteered to fill out a strings section with a Grand Rapids-based indie rock band called The Bowery for their concert at the Frederick Meijer Gardens. Kate and I attended their first rehearsal, and Kate was in heaven - live rock band accompanied by strings in a cramped warehouse space in Grand Rapids (check.) Random drums and other equipment to play while waiting (check.) She danced and smiled and banged the drums and then just sat leaning against me looking up into my eyes periodically with a look of pure joy and a "thank you, mama." We also attended the actual concert with a large group of friends – old and new. Kate was the Energizer Bunny of dancing and almost tried to rush the stage.

Kate Monster Turns Terrible Two

The weekend before her actual birthday, we threw Kate a close family only 2^nd birthday party at our house. Chris spent hours smoking and pulling pork prepared Carolina style and BBQ style. It was the perfect number of people – just grandparents and first aunts and uncles.

9/1/10 – marked Kate’s first pee pee on the potty. She did this on demand for 2 weeks and then stopped without explanation. However, she still avidly reads about Prudence and her potty adventures and requests a “new diapy” when she poops. Sigh. We will try again later, perhaps using our friends’, Clay and Onya’s potty party and boot camp method.

Smart Phone?

OK; it's not an iPad, but this fall, we broke down and purchased first generation Droid smart phones. Once I got over the additional $30/month data plan cost, I loved the convenience and on-the-go functionality. However, I refuse to pay the additional cost of unlimited texts, since we can now email each other freely. So, if I do not respond to your texts, that is why.

“When in doubt, don't be douchey." - Jon Stewart, unveiling the motto of the Rally to Restore Sanity

Down with Fear, Up with Sanity!

The two cutest ralliers

Kate and her Gram

Over Halloween weekend, we journeyed to DC to visit Chris’s Mom and Brother and to attend the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” on the capitol mall. We also felt badly about missing the prior “Restoring Honor” rally hosted by our favorite (cough) TV personality, Glenn Beck. It was surreal and remarkable. One group protested abortion rights dressed like pink elephants, and a baby boomer feminist shouted “we love it!” at them. “Tolerance” and “free speech” ruled the day. I felt very patriotic and American bringing my family to witness the event. We were perhaps the most entertained by the creative homemade “protest” signs. Some of our favorites: “I masturbate to Christine O’Donnell.” (BTW, she told me that she is NOT a witch), “My political views cannot be summed up in a pithy sign.” “Yes, we can disagree without demonizing.”

Kate met her best buddy "Jappers" (with Uncle Bill)

"I love you, Jappers."

We spent Thanksgiving in Virginia Beach with Kate’s Gram and Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill bought Kate her very own stuffed “Jappers” dog in homage to his actual dog “Jasper,” who Kate adores. She had fun following everyone to the bathroom with the same plaintive inquiry outside the closed door: “Come in?”

One Saturday evening (12/4/10), I explained to Kate that she used to live in my belly when she was very little. She was transfixed. I also asked her if she wants to be a big sister some day and further explained that her little brother or sister would also live in my belly for a while. I’m quite sure that she imagined some kind of alien pod-like scenario and thinks I am a loon. The next morning, while clutching her own baby doll, she pointed to my belly and stated: “Baby in there.” Yeah. Not so much.

Kate and I attended her daddy’s Christmas concert with the Mason Philharmonic and Symphony orchestras along with good friend Lori. Chris was the Concertmaster, and when he came out to tune the orchestra, Kate clapped enthusiastically and shouted: “I love you, Daddy!” She proceeded to ignore my many efforts to keep her occupied, including new coloring books, books and snacks and decided she would help to conduct the orchestra and dance. At the end of the concert, she again clapped enthusiastically and hollered “More violin!” That’s our girl.

Later in December, I helped organize and host a professional luncheon event for about 110 people. It was like planning a wedding – complete with late RSVPs, concerns over the guest count, etc.

Beast in the Kitchen

Toward the end of November, and without explanation, Chris began baking uncontrollably. Every day, I would return from work, and he would continue his carb creating crusade. One day, it was homemade bagels that tasted like heaven without any toppings. The next day it was English muffins, and the next it was soft pretzels or French baguette. For Christmas morning, he made an Armenian soft choereg braided bread similar to challah. Aside from the bread, he also baked Christmas cookies for my cookie exchange with the neighbors (I did ice the 8 dozen lemonade cookies), and other cookies and cakes for the family. He received a T-shirt that read, appropriately, “Beast in the Kitchen” from Kate for Christmas along with some on-line culinary lessons from Top Chef contestants.

We dined at our friends Chris and Melissa’s house close to the holidays. Kate got to hold and pet a 16 lb domesticated rabbit, chase a big dog and ride on a real, live horse. What a pleasure to sit in a room in front of a roaring natural fire and a lit Christmas tree chatting with good friends! I think Kate had a bit of crush on Sgt. Chris, even though he was not wearing his police uniform at the time.

Melissa holds bunny


Chris, Melissa and Kate

Christmastime

We spent the Christmas holidays in Michigan this year with the Torossian and Breitmeyer clans. It also allowed us some time with close friends in town from NY and CA. Kate received an animated rocking horse with sound effects from her Papa and Granny. After overcoming her initial mild fear, she named him “Number Two.” Poor thing shares a name with poo. She frequently asks to wear her gigantic, multi-colored tutu from them, as well. Coupled with her new, fancy dress-up box heels, her look is complete. And she never puts down her new laptop that allows her to send and receive real e-mail and create music playlists from her Grandma CeCe. And I think Chris is going to take a hit out on my Mom for buying her a keyboard that plays a variety of tunes. It is rarely ever off, and Kate sings along with it. My Aunt Linda and Uncle Jerry received one particularly annoying toy back from Chris over Christmas, complete with poem he read aloud explaining why - namely, the lack of an off switch.

On our way home from Papa and Granny's house, we picked up our diabetic cat, Roxy, who was boarded at her vet's office. Unlike most dogs, she is not fond of car rides and yowls the entire way home. As she commenced her yowls this time, Kate comforted her with: "Sorry, Roxy. Almost home!"

Kate asks to wear her tutu every other day. Note also the dress up heels.


Kate was unsure of Santa but would talk to him and accept a candy cane.

2010 in the "News" Random Rundown

JetBlue employee, Steven Slater, swore at a customer, tossed back a few beers and exited via an ER chute while on the airport runway in JFK Airport. I admit that I've felt like this at work before, but I did not tell the citizen, co-worker or opposing party to "F" off, drink from a flask in my briefcase and jump out of my second floor office window. Doing that just does not have the desired dramatic effect and probably would not warrant the creation of a Wikipedia site in its honor.

Actor Jeremy London, a recovering addict and actor, claimed to have been kidnapped and forced to do drugs by unnamed assailants. I’m going to use that excuse the next time I go on a bender.

Frankly, Heidi Montag's post-operative boobs scare me. 10 plastic surgeries in one day? Is this what a Barbie doll would look like in real life? Maybe her husband, Spencer, lacks anatomically correct parts, as well. And I like one web site's suggestion that maybe what she really needed was a head transplant.

Kevin Smith, Director of cult hit “Clerks,” was deemed "too fat to fly" by Southwest Airlines, who may not charge extra for bags, but maybe should work a bit on customer service. He quipped that they picked on the "wrong sedentary, processed-foods eater!" Indeed.

And Mel Gibson. What can I say, man? You are one crazy MF. Let this be a lesson to all of us to not hire Tiger Woods’s or Mel Gibson’s publicists.

After a tumultuous year in which it was revealed that her husband fathered a child with another woman, we experienced the sad loss of Elizabeth Edwards on 12/7/10, at age 61 to cancer. RIP, you smart, kind and classy lady.

I am hoping Julian Assange, founder of whistleblower website Wikileaks, has been unable to access my teenage journals. I might get grounded retroactively.

I think we should require the BP oil executives and other company executives responsible for the explosion and spill to bathe in oil for three months - the duration of the oil spill in 2010.

In November, we elected a new Michigan Governor, a "tough nerd," JD, venture capitalist and accountant with no government experience. We changed our letterhead at work with hope. Nationally, Pelosi is no longer Madam Speaker, and the Senate has more Republicans just in time for redistricting. Then, President Obama and the lame duck Congress passed a slew of productive and important legislation before the close of the session. Way to go?

TSA began offering airline passengers the choice between full body scans or intimate pat downs at US airports. At least we get to decide how we want our privacy to be invaded by strangers for the sake of a false sense of security. Do not believe the guy offering you a grocery cart when he tells you that you must remove your bra and shirt before entering your local Walmart. Take it from me - it is not legit.

88-year-old Betty White made a freakin’ awesome SNL host. Why did Facebook not think of this before?

And my husband’s favorite trivia question answer and punchline, Gary Coleman, died in May at the age of 42. Wait for it..."Whatchyou talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

One drawback to the high profile, miraculous rescue of the Chilean miners – the captive with one wife and one mistress – who, previously unknown to his wife, showed up to a prayer vigil before his rescue. To make matters worse, he invited both to observe his rescue. Perhaps staying in the mine would have been safer.

OK; and falling under the WTH category: The Shake Weight. I cannot watch the demo in the commercial without laughing like a middle schooler. I do not see how one can be taken seriously while giving a hand job to an exercise device. A close second is the Trojan vibrator commercial with testimonials from satisfied women customers and their impressed fiancés that are airing at 8 o’clock at night.

On that note, we wish you and your family a happy, prosperous and healthy New Year. We hope that you, too, were blowing your Vuvuzelas at the strike of midnight. Dance like no one is watching, or like you are a 2-year-old (video shot by my best friend, Shanti, on 12/23/10):

Kate 2 year stats.

2010-09-13T22:12:00.004-04:00

Here she is dancing while her Daddy performs the violin with the Grand-Rapids Indie Rock Band The Bowery at the Frederik Meijer Gardens on 8/24/10.

Kate submitted to her 2-year check up today and passed with flying colors. And, according to Daddy, she was very brave when receiving 3 shots. She likes to wear other peoples' shoes whenever possible and finds it particularly challenging to balance in Mommy's 3 inch heels.

She is 35.5 inches tall (85%) and 29 lbs, 3 ozs (77%) with a head circumference in the 89th percentile to house her gigantic brain. Lately, besides trying on shoes, she likes to attempt to count and say the alphabet, babble a constant stream to us, the cats or anyone else who will listen to a dimpled toddler who likes to use hand gestures and laugh at her own nonsensical stories. She now says, "I love you, too," instead of the less satisfying "I love you, Daddy."

She picks up anything that resembles a phone and commences imaginary conversations where she says the following: "Hi. How're you? Fine. OK. OK. Um. Uh-huh. OK. Bye!" When a particularly catchy commercial comes on, or she is watching her beloved "Doo-Doo-Doo Dora" or "The Backyardigans," she declares: "I dance!" much like Mike Meyers did on the SNL skit "Sprokets." Occasionally, she also offers: "Mommy dance?!" What proceeds can only be described as the Energizer Bunny of dancing.

It seems that as soon as she turned 2, she also immediately became more willful and combative in an attempt to assert her opinion and independence. I am glad for her sass in some ways and realize that this is only the beginning of our battles. She no longer goes to bed without an argument. But she is also using a fork and a spoon without assistance and going pee-pee on the potty after only 2 weeks of attempts. And she is a perfect angel when a guest at someone else's house.

Let's Go Jump in the Lake.

2010-08-22T11:00:00.003-04:00

In an attempt to eek out the last few days of summer, we hit the beach. Our neighbors and friends, Jay and Lori, invited us and some other friends to Jay's parents' lake house in Plainwell, MI for a Saturday afternoon of fun. C could not join us, because he was photographing a wedding in Detroit. Fortunately, the rain cleared up by mid-afternoon, and the sun came out. Here Kate and Dora, the "explorers," enjoy the shore.

The waves come crashing in.

Kate and Ty play in the sand. Although Ty was initially "afraid" of the sand on his feet, he eventually made peace with it while learning the joys of burying his feet in the sand. "Hop, hop, bunny," Kate says.

Onya and I did not plan this, but we wound up looking like a Kohl's catalog advertising different options for this two piece suit.

Kate admiring baby Sophia and chatting with Ty's daddy.

Preparing for a "fast" boat ride where the toddlers identified the colors on the buoys (AKA "boobies.")

Kate Turns 2!

2010-08-21T00:30:00.004-04:00

We celebrated Kate's 2nd birthday by throwing her a small close family only party at our house on Sat., 8/14. When everyone arrived, Kate decided to ride the lion - what else?

Chris spent hours smoking pork butt (I like saying "pork butt") and preparing it "Carolina style" and BBQ.

Here are some of the guests waiting for some cake, including all three of her uncles, her Granny and Grandpa Joe.

Uncle Josh and Aunt Brittany

Sisters

Kate's reaction to having "Happy Birthday" sung to her.

"Where's my piece of cake?"

"Phew!"

Mommy and her not so little girl

Opening presents with Daddy neatly and politely. She kept ripping a small amount of paper off and taking it diligently to the trash bag held by her Uncle Bill. Her favorites were Elmo-related items and her new stroller/cradle/high chair combo for her baby dolls.

Indiana 2010

2010-08-21T00:17:00.003-04:00

My future BIL got a job as an engineer for Cummins based in Columbus, IN, and my sister spent the summer working and living there before heading back to Michigan Tech in the fall. We decided to pay them and a law school friend a visit. Kate is getting used to road trippin' it now. Part of our adventures included a ridiculously fun trip to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis. Everyone should go there at least once. The theme during our visit was "Stars, Cars and Guitars." An '80s rock band greeted us near the entrance, and Kate began bopping while still strapped in her stroller. Must.dance.now. Then she toured the rest of the place, stacking these blocks past her own reach.

Brittany and I were most excited for this exhibit for obvious reasons. There was even a Barbie fashion show with a runway, paparazzi and a crowd of spectators. Kate wore a pink tutu.

Fortunately, we also got to have dinner and lunch the following day with my best friend from law school (BFFLS), Jon, and his parents. It was their first time meeting our little. There was a lot of mutual admiration flowing between Jon and Kate (no; not THAT "Jon and Kate.")

His parents were so lovely to us and to our Kate. We are so glad we got to catch up a bit.

Minneapolis and a Wedding

2010-08-20T23:22:00.019-04:00

We packed up our swagger wagon and headed up to Minneapolis for the wedding of our good friends, Travis and Amber. Our first stop was for dinner in Turkeyville, MI. Hellooooo! Are we having fun yet?

Waiting somewhat impatiently to boogie down at the wedding reception. Why are these adults wasting their time eating and talking when there is "Y-M-C-A," "Greased Lightnin,'" "Brown Eyed Girl" and "Ice, Ice Baby" to dance to?

The hotel we stayed in had an indoor/outdoor water park. Kate (and C) had a blast in the whirlpool, water slides and tubing on the rapids. Me, I flew down a tube-like water slide at lightning speeds, landing head first into the water below with a painful water up the nose experience. Kate kept asking for the "wa-wa!"

While C hung out with the bridal party taking photos, I visited a childhood friend and her family in a charming neighborhood near downtown Minneapolis. Gretchen is only a few months older than Kate, and Bridgett is 5.

We headed to a local public park near their neighborhood where the girls enjoyed digging in the sand, splashing and trying to assert their independence.

The day after the wedding, we decided to check out this.

Holy crap! There is a whole amusement park in this mall filled with all of Kate's favorite Nick Jr. characters.

Daddy took her on all of the rides, b/c Mommy cannot take the spinning. It makes her vomit.

A tired Kate Monster on the ride back to the hotel, clutching her special Itty Bitty Twin American Girl doll.

And....a spontaneous side trip to Madison, WI to see the Ablers!

Hi there, Benjamin. He and Kate held hands and plotted to destroy the world together.

His precocious older bro, Matthew.

See daddy! Look at that giraffe.

And the best of all was how she looked when she woke up every morning next to us in the hotel bed. Yes; you are still my baby doll sometimes.

Mackinac Island

2010-07-11T23:57:00.009-04:00

From June 10-13, we visited Mackinac Island and stayed at the historic Grand Hotel, so that I could attend a professional conference. Our hotel stay included daily full breakfasts, a ridiculous lunch buffet and 5-course dinners with live music. Unfortunately, we usually only made it to the 4th course before Kate declared "all done," and gestured to be removed from her high chair. She danced in her seat to the live music, making the staff giggle. When one of the nearly all Jamaican staff asked her what her name was, she replied, "me!" Of course!

She loved exploring the grounds and running the length of the gigantic porch. We also went to a butterfly house and ate some of the famous fudge. Other conference attendees noticed her and gave us many compliments. The weather did not cooperate to do as much outdoors as we would have liked. All in all, it was a fun time, but I am not sure we would return with her, until she is old enough to enjoy the children's activities starting at age 5.

Kate is 19 months Old.

2010-03-21T15:20:00.008-04:00

Kate turned 19 months old on Friday. I am a little behind on posting her 18 month happenings. At 18 months, she was 27 lbs (85%) and 33 3/4 inches long (96%). She seems to be learning a new word or phrase every day. She says "What's that?" constantly and sometimes adds "over there" to her phrase. She also says "I see that!" We taught her to make animal sounds for cow, sheep, owl, dog, cat, lion and others I know I am forgetting. She says "up" whether she wants to be picked up or to get down. And she points to most of her body parts in response to us naming them: Head, hair, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, feet, belly, hand, etc. She often claps to congratulate herself afterward. She continues to love books--whether it be having them read to her or sitting quietly while she thumbs through them herself and pretends to read. She added a few dance moves and now looks like a Kate Monster when she dances. But she dances to her own beat! Since the weather improved, all she wants to do is go outside on the deck, walk around the neighborhood, go to the park or ride on the back of Dada's bike. When I arrive home from work, she grabs my hand and leads me to the front door for our next adventure. Love her!!

Enjoying the Small Things.

2010-01-29T10:08:00.001-05:00

I thought you might want to read Kelle Hampton's most recent blog posts from her blog entitled "Enjoying the Small Things." She is a professional photographer and former teacher based in Florida who is also a Michigan native. She is also the daughter of the pastor who married us and the mother of 2 young girls. One week ago, she gave birth to a daughter with Down's Syndrome. She chronicles her life's journey in beautiful words and photography, and I think it is a special place to visit.

Another Reason to Move it and Lose it--Doctors Hate Fat Women

2010-01-21T13:19:00.005-05:00

Health.com's Ginny Graves offers interesting insight into another reason why it is unhealthy to be obese or overweight in her article "The Surprising Reason why being Overweight isn't Healthy." Being just 13 pounds overweight as a woman (i.e., 13 lbs above your highest healthy weight measured by BMI) can result in health care discrimination based on weight. To put this in perspective, as a 5'9" woman, I could be discriminated against if I weighed as little as 182 lbs.

Beyond the humiliation of being treated with less courtesy or attention, this healthcare discrimination can be harmful or even deadly. Recent studies confirmed what many people suspect through anecdotal evidence: Medical professionals tend to misdiagnose, refuse to treat and fail to detect serious medical issues impacting overweight women. One Harvard Medical School professor commented that doctors tend to be more dismissive and less patient with overweight people, rendering them prone to diagnostic errors as a result of clouded judgment. This attitude also discourages overweight patients from seeking needed preventative care or follow up on a health concern, leading to more serious health emergencies from neglect.

Some doctors refuse to operate on or treat patients beyond a certain weight threshold. They do this to keep their success rates high and to avoid difficult and time consuming procedures. This occurs with respect to needed surgeries, organ transplants, infertility treatments and important diagnostic tests such as heart catheterizations.

Granted, obese patients present practical problems for medical professionals and diagnostic equipment like ultrasound, mammogram and CT scanners. The more layers of fat, the harder to get an accurate image, and the more difficult for a surgeon to operate successfully. Morbidly obese patients may be too large to fit in a machine or pose a large recovery risk from an organ transplant. Larger patients often receive false positives leading to costly tests and treatment for suspected breast cancer.

Perhaps the most startling was in cancer treatment. Because cancer trials are based on average weight people, oncologists do not know how to accurately adjust chemotherapy drug dosages to treat overweight women. This could be one reason why their mortality and recurrence rate is higher than in normal weight women.

Being overweight myself and a person who has struggled with weight issues her whole life, I find myself angry at the injustice of being treated like a 2nd class patient and being labeled as "lazy," "noncompliant," or "undisciplined" when I am not. However, like a smoker, a person who abuses food cannot expect to pay the same insurance premiums as a healthy weight person who does not smoke. But I have to wonder if smokers are denied access to expensive medical procedures, organ transplants, etc., until they successfully quit? Do they experience the same level of derision from their health care providers, leading to misdiagnoses? I do think there are some ethical issues involved--e.g., do you give a needed organ to an obese person when the possibility of a bad health outcome is higher than for a healthy weight person equally in need of that organ?

What do you think about this type of bias? Warranted? An injustice? A little of both?

The New Year.

2010-01-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

I am doing this for the 2nd year in a row. Feel free to post your own answers, either in the comments or on your own blog! Here are mine:

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Co-hosted family Christmas celebrations at our house, became the mother of a toddler, co-hosted a kid's birthday party

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Through calorie restriction and eventually increased exercise, I am trying to lose a total of 35 pounds (non-baby weight) by August 2010. I have lost 12 pounds so far.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Rashmi and Rohit (Ishaan), Holly & Joel (Liam), Rusty & Jayme (Mason), Stacy & Ray (Sara), and Belen and Rich (Isabella).

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. Where did you travel in 2009?
To Harrisonburg, VA, Virginia Beach, VA, and Washington, DC, in March to visit my in-laws, see my husband's alma mater and visit with the Showalters. Over Labor Day weekend, we went to Manitowoc, WI to visit our good friends, the Ablers.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A healthy BMI, a cleaner house and more pleasure reading done

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
6/25/09--the date pop music legend Michael Jackson died of sudden cardiac arrest. The first news reports seemed like a hoax. I grew up listening to his music, admiring his Geri curls and trying to emulate his dance moves. The Thriller music video changed the way music was marketed forever.
8/19/09--Kate's first birthday. We celebrated the fact that we kept her alive for an entire year by making sure she received her scheduled vaccinations.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Kate's first birthday and party; losing 12 pounds in 1.5 months.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Our messy, disorganized house; not exercising enough; having the TV on too much

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Around the time of my birthday, I injured my pelvic joint during a yogalates class at the Y. It seems to have swelled and now flairs up after carrying Kate around a lot on that side or after walking longish distances. I also have fluctuating high blood pressure and high cholesterol I am trying to address through losing weight and eating healthier. Read: Less cheese and smaller portions. Otherwise, our household has so far avoided the dreaded H1N1.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Infared backyard grill, materials to build a backyard deck

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Our family's--for understanding our inability to spend the holidays with everyone at once and for showering Kate with affection, attention and many, many thoughtful and generous gifts.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The people involved in helping my brother learn have failed him. The Gosselin family's extremely public divorce and cries for attention, The Octomom's decision to have 8 children and her fertility doctor's decision to implant 6 embryos at once, the balloon boy's parents' decision to stage a costly publicity stunt, the Nigerian radical who nearly blew his nuts off by attempting to detonate an explosive device on an international flight into Detroit and the military psychiatrist in Fort Hood who opened fire, killing and wounding several people.

14. Where did most of your money go?
House, food, savings and deck

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Kate's development--crawling, walking, talking, eating a variety of foods, developing a sense of humor and a goofy personality. I was also excited to see her reactions on Christmas morning and to watch her play with other children her age. I also loved spending time with my best friend's family around Christmas and watching Kate interact with her nephews.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Something off the Ziggy Marley "Family Time" CD for sure. It gets played over and over in our car. "Walk tall; walk tall; even if you fall, get up!"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading a real book, exercising, gone out without Kate

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worried, being passive, surfing the internet, watching TV

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Chris really decked our halls this year. Kate's Gram and uncles Bill and Matthew celebrated with us in Mason, and Chris (sometimes with his Mom's help) cooked elaborate feasts each night. I did what I am much better at--washed the dishes. Kate was so wound up from spending time with her family the first night, that she could not fall asleep. Uncle Bill bought our family a high quality Lionel train set modeled after the Polar Express that brought Chris to tears. Kate learned to say "Nigh-Nigh" to everyone when she went to bed. A few days later, we exchanged presents with my Mom's side of the family at my Grandma's house, and Kate had her first taste of an Armenian dessert--Halva. Chris also made Armenian shortbread cookies this year among many other treats traditional to his side of the family. We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family at his house this year. Kate received so many presents that she had to take a nap while we finished opening them.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
More and more deeply every day with Kate and with Chris.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
We still watch "Grey's Anatomy," "Desperate Housewives" and "Brothers & Sisters." I think "The Big Bang Theory," "Modern Family," "The Family Guy" and "The Cleveland Show" are also becoming fast favorites. We also bought and watched Seasons 1-3 of "The Muppet Show" with Kate, who loves it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Sadly, I started to read "The Year of Living Biblically," a secular Jewish author's take on his attempt to live the bible literally for a year, as part of a 2-person book club. Neither of us has made it through it yet. I think I do most of my reading on line, and it is mostly news and child development-related.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Does children's music count?

26. What did you want and get?
Comfy slippers, a Tassimo one-cup coffee brewer, a sweater, make-up, a bathroom scale, an outdoor shed, Christmas PJs, money

27. What did you want and not get?
Pilates mat and exercise DVDs

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
"The Hangover" or "Up."

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my birthday, Chris cooked me a lobster tail and steak dinner, and I attended a yogalates class at the Y. The weekend of my birthday, we enjoyed a discounted meal at Opus One because of Detroit's first annual Restaurant Week. I was 34.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A cleaner and more well-organized house. Otherwise, I am pretty satisfied.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Shirts long enough to cover the gap between my natural waist and the waist of low rider pants. These pants were not made for people with long torsos and big butts, and the baby doll style shirts just make me look pregnant. As I have been losing weight, I am just belting up my old pants and wearing larger shirts, until my shoulders, arms, butt and hips follow suit.

32. What kept you sane?
Sleep, Chris's voice of reason and being able to talk and write about it with myself and friends as we exercise together. Also--doing something instead of just talking about it.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Bradley Cooper from "The Hangover"

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The state legislature's inability to reach a budget compromise and ongoing problems concerning that subject. At the federal level--the debate over publicly-funded and mandated health insurance. I was also happy that the state legislature finally mandated smoke-free restaurants and bars with a few exceptions.

35. Who did you miss?
My Papa.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Chris and I both enjoyed getting to know Amy and Beau better this year and meeting Belen and Rich.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
One of the hardest and most important things you can be as a parent is consistent.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

From Ziggy Marley's "I Love you Too"--

When you smile I'll smile along
When you cry my comfort comes

When you walk I'll be beside you
Holding your hands
When the sun come out we play
I'll never be far away
When you tell me that you love me
This is what I'm gonna say

I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you
I love you too, I love you too
I love you

THE DANA FAMILY’S 2009 YEAR IN REVIEW

2009-12-29T22:51:00.009-05:00

You know you are the Parent of a Young Child when...

You have ever used a baby monitor as a walkie-talkie. “Dude! We are out of diapers/wipes/patience up here. Come quick!”
Seeing a movie in the theater and taking long, hot showers are rare luxuries.
You play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock over changing the next soiled diaper.
You rarely wear clothing that cannot be easily wiped clean of bodily fluids.
A diaper bag is your new little black dress or “man purse,” as the case may be.
The consistency, frequency and odor of poop are frequent topics of casual conversation.
You plan your days around another person’s sleep schedule.
Your living room resembles a day care center in the aftermath of a cyclone.
You develop hair pulling and pinch deflecting moves that rival the best mixed martial artists.
Your spouse calls you at work to inform you that your child now knows what sound a cow makes. You consider drafting a press release.
You marvel at the versatility of the baby wipe. Perhaps it can cure cancer?
You have strong opinions about diaper pails.
You have ever hastily ripped out the batteries to a repetitive children’s toy while quietly muttering obscenities to yourself.
You have had to be peeled off the ceiling after being startled by a toy’s sudden, unexpected sound or movement in the middle of the night.
You know all of the words to [fill in the blank] children’s CD, as it is the only thing that magically captivates your child during long car trips.

Developmentally Speaking

You probably expect me to regale you with cute anecdotes about how precocious and above average our 16-month-old daughter, Kate, is. But I won’t. Kate is fairly average thus far. She rolled over at 5 months, crawled at 8 months, pulled herself to standing soon later and took her first steps at 11 months. At 16 months, she mostly babbles but says enough words to satisfy her pediatrician and uses sign language to say even more. So what if she sticks her index finger in her mouth when we ask her where her nose is? It’s perfectly normal that she likes to stick a bucket on her head and wander around the house bumping into things and giggling about it, right? She frequently walks on tip toes and admires the view between her legs in the downward dog yoga pose. I swear I did not teach her to make farting noises with her mouth pressed against the leather couch backs, either. And doesn’t every 15-month-old devour a chunk of raw, ginger and soy-infused tofu, miso soup and a whole bowl of pickled ginger while her parents have sushi?

Kate also has awesome taste in literature—“I Love you Stinky Face,” “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” and “Hands, Hands, Fingers, Thumb” are certainly tops. But she also appreciates other perennial classics like “Goodnight, Moon,” and “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?” Gloria and I started a 2-person book club. Unfortunately, unlike Kate, we have yet to finish a single book.

Recently, Kate has even cultivated a quiet reverence for “The Muppet Show” when she rarely pays TV much attention, otherwise. And my smart brother chose a Sit and Spin as a Christmas present for her this year. It is not the Sit and Spin of ‘80s yore, though. This thing plays a mixture of upbeat popular music and techno, so she can practice what it feels like to attend a rave. She even giggles and staggers drunkenly after playing with it for a while and now enjoys spinning around while standing in place, until she falls down. Her favorite CD is definitely Ziggy Marley’s children’s reggae music, “Family Time.” That thing is like toddler crack! One moment tears and whining, the next moment smiles and squeals and then car seat sleep.

Soon after being introduced to solid foods, we opened the stinky pureed meat food jar, and smart girl hated it. To those of you who have no experience, it resembled something worse than SPAM salad or cat food. While still not a major fan of beef, she now enjoys pork, lamb and seafood of all kinds, especially if loads of garlic, ginger or tomato sauce is involved.

Around Easter, she began crawling and almost immediately cruising throughout the living room. At her Great-Grandma Rosalie’s, she did repeated laps around the coffee table to cheers.

Road Trip!

In March, we took a pilgrimage to Virginia Beach and DC to visit Kate’s Gram and Uncle Bill. On the way, we took a detour to see Chris’s alma mater—James Madison University in Harrisonburg, VA. While there, we stayed with the gorgeous and extremely hospitable Showalter family. Unfortunately, Kate redecorated their couch with her vomit. Poor Chris soon followed suit.

Interests and Inactivities

In June, we realized that Kate was a bit too young for the Frederick Meijer Children’s Gardens . But we enjoyed the flowers, sculptures and strollercise, regardless.

We celebrated the 4^th of July in Mason with my Mom and Stepdad, watching the parade of large farm equipment and the Ingham County fireworks from our backyard. Unfortunately, despite our countermeasures, this also resulted in a particularly rousing attack of the merciless mosquitoes.

In July, we got to spend some time with old friends and their families--the Bells and the Aggarwals, who were in town visiting their families. Kate also experienced her first boating trip on Pine Lake courtesy of our neighbors, the Langones. “Go! Go! Go!” she seemed to instruct the Captain Jay, excitedly.

Meanwhile, Chris was consumed with constructing our self-proclaimed backyard “deck of ill repute” with the generous help of neighbors and friends. My brother, Trey, also came to stay with us to take care of Kate while Chris labored during the week. Kate adored spending time with her uncle and took her first steps during his visit.

A Man in Uniform

While enjoying ice cream at Turtle Tom's in downtown Mason, Kate spotted a uniformed Mason Police Officer standing in line for some ice cream. She promptly made eye contact with him and began beckoning him toward her with her index finger. He slowly saddled up alongside her to greet her and gave her a police badge sticker. She was beyond thrilled, and we never saw her do that to anyone before or since. What can we say? She likes men in uniform.

Kate Graduates to Toddlerhood; Cats Stage Boycott

In August, we commemorated Kate’s first birthday with a Winnie the Pooh themed party and BBQ lunch at our house with family and neighbors. We stripped her down to her diaper and placed her own personal chocolate cake on her high chair tray for her to devour with her hands. My Aunt commented that this should be a birthday tradition well into our adult years. I agree. On her actual birthday, Kate got shots and not the fun kind.

As Kate gained increased mobility and independence, both of our cats developed UTIs and an aversion to peeing in the litter box, once treated. After a weekend ER visit, our older fat cat was diagnosed with diabetes and now receives 2 insulin shots per day from Chris. My one and only attempt at sticking her resulted in malpractice as evidenced by the yowling. Our younger cat is apparently depressed and/or anxious, since Kate learned to walk and more easily chase and torment him. He began marking when he never did before. So, now our smallest furry family member is on anti-depressants. He is not yet seeing a therapist. Too bad cats cannot qualify for Medicare or benefit from health care reform.

Furlough Fridays Fun

The summer and fall were consumed with state budget woes. Since I am a state government employee, we experienced another suspenseful night on September 30^th, wondering if we would have another state government shutdown based on the legislature’s inability to reach a compromise on balancing the budget by the constitutional deadline. During the summer, because of the deficit, we took 6 involuntary unpaid furlough days. At least they resulted in long weekends, sometimes around paid holidays. We took advantage of those days to visit the Ablers over Labor Day weekend in Manitowoc, WI. This year was special, because we got to watch Kate interact with their two boys, one of whom is only 1 month older than Kate. However, I am thankful to have a job at all.

This year, Chris honed his photography skills by shooting weddings throughout the summer and fall, including one he shot by himself in Lansing. He is excited to continue doing so in the coming year.

For my birthday, we managed to exploit Detroit’s first annual restaurant week to have a hugely discounted meal at Opus One in downtown Detroit. Unfortunately, around the same time, I somehow managed to injure my pelvic joint during a yogalates class at the Y. Happy Birthday to me. I am still not quite right. But you all already knew that.

The Great Pumpkin, Kate Monster

In October, Kate’s Gram visited for a week while we prepared for Halloween and attended Chris’s first Mason Orchestral Society concert of the season at MSU. Gram also taught Kate the ever amusing "happy face/angry face" routine which provides hours of entertainment for adults and toddler alike. They constructed a large wooden painted witch for our front porch that slightly disturbed and/or impressed our neighbors with its size and intricacy. Kate took her first trip to Uncle John’s Cider Mill and helped pick out our big pumpkin. Unfortunately, once it became a Jack ‘o Lantern, it transformed into a scary monster that eats cute toddlers. Later that month, we saw Robin Williams: Weapons of Self Destruction live at the MSU Auditorium and relished the brief child-free excursion.

Kate was an actual “Kate Monster” for Halloween. She was very scary in her puffy pink outfit complete with horns and large feet. After watching her valiant efforts at unwrapping some of the candy she received from trick or treating, we opened a few miniature chocolate bars and gave her a sample. She could not stop with the “Mmmmmm-ing!” And she cried between bites, because we could not get them to her lips fast enough for her liking. She now does this in response to me demonstrating how much I like a particularly healthy fruit or vegetable I want her to try.

Kate’s Great-Grandma Jo survived 2 major surgeries to remove colon cancer and correct the incision site this year. She is now recovering and living with my Dad and Stepmom in northern Michigan. We wish her continued healing and an improved quality of life.

Kate’s Uncle Bill dropped in for a visit during a working tour of US cities in November. In no time, Kate was reaching up to him and climbing all over him in glee.

Spirit of Christmas

Later in November, I took a squirmy screaming Kate to the Mason Orchestral Society’s Christmas concert to watch her Dada play and the Lansing Civic Players act out a few skits. We think she may have to stay home for future concerts, until she gets a bit older, but it got me in the Christmas spirit, and she made a few older ladies giggle.

Over Thanksgiving, we traveled up north to celebrate an early Christmas with my Dad’s family. Being the only tot in the family, she received a ridiculous amount of toys and clothes. In fact, she had to take a nap while we continued opening her presents without her.

Like a true dieting martyr, I began a new campaign to lose 35 pounds within the next 9 months or so just before Thanksgiving. After a brief hiatus, I am back on track and have lost 11 pounds so far just by restricting calories and keeping an on-line food journal. This should be a bit easier now that Chris stopped the continuous baking of Armenian shortbread cookies and key lime cheese cakelets!

Annual Wins and Losses

This year, we lost Michael Jackson and Edward Kennedy among many other notables. Obama increased the number of troops in Afghanistan but set a goal for withdrawal in 2011 AND won the Nobel Peace Prize. We followed the train wrecks that were the Gosselin family and Octomom. Perhaps having extreme multiples is an indication of other ailments. Boo on Carrie Prejean with her fake boobs, beauty queen crown and support of Proposition 8. And I must snicker a bit at SC Governor Mark Sanford’s “hike” along the Appalachian Trail of lies. He may have met his “soul mate” in Argentina, but he also lost his mind and political career. At least his wife, the apparent brains behind his political success, landed a Vogue interview and a book deal out of it. And she didn’t go all Tiger Woods’s wife on his ass, either.

And how can we forget poor, vomiting balloon boy, Falcon Heene. First of all, who names their son Falcon? At least his parents were sentenced to non-consecutive jail terms, so they can keep better track of all of their children in the future.

Also in 2009, “Wise Latina” Sonia Sotomayor became a new U.S. Supreme Court Justice. We worried about H1N1 and stalked public health departments for our share. “Birthers” questioned President Obama’s origin, and we questioned their ability to read. We watched the U.S. Legislature debate and ultimately pass a version of healthcare reform and the Michigan Legislature hem and haw over state budget cuts. Cash for Clunkers was a smashing success. My, what a large Stimulus Package you have there!

Groovy Train

Kate’s Gram and uncles Bill and Matthew visited us over Christmas. Much to our surprise and delight, Uncle Bill presented Chris and our whole family with an elaborate Lionel Train set modeled after the Polar Express to start our own family tradition. This reduced Chris to tears, as he thought of his late Father and his childhood love of train sets. Kate loves to make it whistle and will even control the train herself and then squeal and run away to Mama. We are proud of our budding conductor.

Well, we hope you enjoyed our little year-end review, despite its lack of colonoscopy, childbirth and kidney stone references. Off we go to crash a Presidential Ball or two.

Kate is 15 months old.

2009-11-28T14:20:00.008-05:00

Kate enjoyed crunching, running and falling in the soft fall leaves outside of her Great-Grandma Rosalie's house. Sadly, Kate has very few leaves of her own to jump in.

Kate was a "Kate Monster" for Halloween this year. She attended a Working Mom's Play Group Halloween party in E. Lansing earlier in the day and then went to a few of her friends' houses trick-or-treating before helping Dada pass out candy. Unfortunately, it was rather cold and windy that evening, so she had to come inside early. When she did, she promptly dumped out her candy and tried to open the wrappers. She loudly exclaimed "mmmmmm!" when we gave her a few bites of a plain milk chocolate Hershey's bar. She also cried between bites.

Her Gram visited in early October and helped us pick out a pumpkin at Uncle John's Cider Mill and pumpkin patch. Kate did not so much enjoy the bonus Elvis impersonator, though. Gram also helped C paint a gigantic wooden witch for our front porch to go along with the birds, black cat, spider web and other various and sundry Halloween decorations.

Kate turned 15 months old on 11/19. She measured 32 inches tall (90th percentile) and 25 lbs., 4 ozs (83rd percentile.) Thank goodness we were able to get her both doses of the seasonal and H1N1 flu vaccine, as well.

We all visited Papa Tom, Granny and family over Thanksgiving to celebrate Christmas with the extended family. Kate had a great time playing with her aunts, uncles and cousins but was exhausted from all the excitement. She received so many thoughtful gifts, including The Wizard of Oz, clothes, gold glitter high tops, a pink snowsuit, footed PJs, boots and board books. It was also nice for her to spend time with her Great-Grandma Jo, who is recovering from a second abdominal surgery following the removal of colon cancer over a year ago.

Kate is walking and running, saying a few words ("Hi," "Yeah" or "da," "'nana," "s'that?" "mama" and "dada." She also signs "milk," "hungry," "all done" and "more." Her favorite things to do include flipping through board books, having them read to her one right after another and playing "I'm gonna get you!"

Helicopter Parenting.

2009-11-19T10:29:00.003-05:00

This article by Nancy Gibbs of Time Magazine discusses the new fangled concept of "slow parenting," where you allow your child free play time and do not constantly hover over their every activity and learning opportunity. C and I have discussed this numerous times. Parents who overschedule and constantly push their children may be doing them a disservice. The freedom to actually be bored births some of the most creative boredom busters and sparks independent thought. While I can relate to and understand the inclination toward helicopter parenting, I am glad to see a cultural shift in the works.

Whether born out of necessity or on purpose, I often had time to do nothing as the child of a single parent. Although I was not athletically talented or predisposed, I spent hours riding bikes through our neighborhood with my best friend, watching the dreaded TV and writing and tape or video recording our own newscasts, choreographed dance routines and plays in her parents' basement. We even kept journals, wrote poetry, sang and played instruments. We did not attend a regular dance, music or gymnastics class outside of public school, and Gymboree did not exist. However, we were able to explore our own interests, cultivate creativity and test the boundaries of our independence. As teenagers, Chris volunteered caring for autistic infants, and I helped clean up a local river. He also played the violin, began learning German and cultivated his other, varied interests, and I acted, sang and hosted a high school radio show.

Kids may also benefit from being allowed to fail, get hurt and fight their own battles. Not once did my Mom intervene on my behalf to argue a grade with a teacher. And I would have been absolutely mortified if my Mom ever argued with my college professor or attempted to negotiate my starting salary with an employer! If I felt strongly enough about it, I knew that it was my job to do so, or I could simply work harder to prove myself the next time. While I agree with the author that immunizations, car seats, seatbelts and bike helmets are rational methods of reducing risk to children, I also agree that trying to shield them from every possible harm, no matter how remote or improbable, is irrational.

These are interesting revelations for me, because, by all accounts, my Mom was an overprotective and nervous Nelly as a parent. She was one of the first moms in the 1970s to insist on the use of a child car seat and fought with her parents and in-laws about it. When I was a baby and toddler, she was afraid of letting me fall and get hurt, or that I would catch a cold from an inquisitive stranger at the grocery store. She constantly read books and talked to me as an infant and toddler, exposed me to boy-centric toys, taught me "Free to Be You and Me" and told me I was smart and beautiful all the time. And she was terrified when I learned to drive and rode in cars with teenagers. But, she must have eventually let go or learned to live with the fear. I hope we can, too.

Creating a Happy Family Life.

2009-10-28T17:27:00.004-04:00

This article entited "The 5 Secrets of Happy Families," by Barbara Rowley, in Parenting magazine offers some insightful tips:

1. Express gratitude to yourself and those around you even if you have to fake it.

2. Try to be satisfied with your choices instead of constantly trying to maximize or second-guess them. Do not compare yourself to others. Limiting your options and those of your family helps.

3. Focus yourself and family members on moments of joy in your past, present and future.

4. Spread out special experiences and treats like toys, clothing and vacations to create contrast, anticipation and appreciation.

5. Nurture your inner circle of friends and family, because your relationships, not your money or success, bring you happiness and satisfaction.

Chivalry is not Chauvinistic or Dead.

2009-10-16T14:29:00.003-04:00

I read this article from The Frisky web site on CNN's web site about why men should buy flowers for their romantic partner. But it could apply to any thoughtful gesture between a couple. Not to brag, but my husband is really good at this. I could be better.

The point the author was trying to make is that buying your partner flowers, their favorite dessert/junk food or a trinket that they swooned over in a catalog or while shopping recently demonstrates that you were thinking about them when they weren't there. You were not thinking about your anger or how much they irritate you but of how you could make them happy. How purely loving and romantic, especially if you are not merely 'a courting each other.

Kate is One Year Old!

2009-08-29T12:13:00.005-04:00

Kate turned one year old on Wed., August 19, 2009. We celebrated her birthday the previous Saturday afternoon with a party at our house. She seemed to enjoy every part of it after she got used to having so many family and neighbors in one place. She adored tearing into her own birthday cake and into all of her many gifts. Unfortunately, she got poked with 3 more immunizations on her actual birthday. She is now 30.5 inches tall and 24 pounds--both exactly in the 89th percentile. She also has many more teeth growing in, including some molars.

Since getting a bunch of push and pull toys, her walking skills have improved. She practices all the time and can now walk across the living room without assistance. She is so proud of herself.

She is weaned from her bottle and from formula and now drinks whole milk out of a sippy cup in addition to nearly everything that we eat. She only uses her pacifier at nap and bedtime now, too. She constantly babbles in a conversational tone and enjoys flirting with people who catch her fancy in the grocery store or a restaurant.

11 Months and Walking!

2009-07-21T21:14:00.008-04:00

Kate turned 11 months old on Sunday and visited her great aunts, cousins, Great-Grandma Rosalie and Grandparents. We decided to put her in one of my old dresses and bonnets. I thought this was a great effect, even though the dress is still a bit big on her. Bonnets are the shiznit!

Kate also took her first major steps towards walking full time last night--5 steps in a row towards Dada to be exact. Because her Uncle Trey is staying with us, he got to witness this important event first hand. The photo to the left depicts the actual steps.

Last week while all 3 of us enjoyed some ice cream at the shop downtown, Kate spotted a local police officer in full uniform standing in line for ice cream. Admiring his impressive ensemble, she quickly made eye contact with him and proceeded to beckon him towards her using her index finger. He slowly saddled up alongside her and gave her a police badge sticker. She was thrilled, and we were amazed at her behavior. This was the first time we saw her do that.

Lately, besides the walking thing and gaining 4 additional top front teeth, she thrives on gaining the attention of strangers and everyone in a given room by laughing loudly and hysterically or engaging in other similar hijinx. I dare anyone not to smile in response to such enthusiasm. She is such a happy girl.

10 months old!

2009-06-23T23:21:00.008-04:00

Here is our big girl this past weekend. She visited her Grandma CeCe, Grandpa Joe and Great-Grandma Rosalie on Saturday while Dada shot a wedding. She is cruising all over the house on the furniture with her curious hands and mouth on everything. Needless to say, gates are in effect, and the cats are learning to run when she squeals near them. She is feeding herself finger foods and even liking meat now that it is not pureed. Cheese, yogurt and Cheerios are among her favorites.

On Dada's first Father's Day, she helped him open his gifts and presented him with this poem:

Thank you, Dada
for cleaning my poo
like you so often do,
for playing me Dvorak, Beethoven and ZZ Top—
they rock!

Thank you, Dada
for taking me out to play
or just finger painting on a rainy day,
for tossing me up in the air
and blowing raspberries to show you care.

Thank you, Dada
for carrying me on your shoulders so high
that I nearly touch the sky,
for knowing just how to clip my nails
and tickle my toes.

But not everybody knows
that you hold me when I cannot sleep
and soothe my tears when I weep.
You bathe, burp and feed,
adeptly caring for my every need.

You teach me--
to talk,
to walk,
to laugh,
to gently love animals (whether Roxy, Kanu or a baby calf),
to eat healthy foods,
to not be rude,
to trust and let go,
and to watch a garden grow.
And so I wanted to say thank you, Dada,
for showing me the way
on this your first Father’s Day.

Medical Decisions for your Children.

2009-05-27T11:28:00.004-04:00

The case of Minnesota 13-year-old Daniel Hauser and his parents recently thrust the issue of religious/parental rights vs. a government's right to intervene and prevent child medical neglect in the national spotlight. This article summarizes other, similar cases and their outcomes throughout the years, making it abundently clear that the issue is far from black and white. I found it especially interesting in the article above that one set of parents would get their family dog vaccinated regularly due to legal mandates but would opt out of vaccinating their children and seeking medical treatment based upon their religious convictions.

In my opinion, there needs to be a multi-pronged approach to this medical, ethical and legal question. If the child is mature enough to understand the treatment options, risks and benefits, then the court should defer to the child's preferences as expressed through his own legal representative. However, if the child is too young, uneducated or immature to make this decision for himself, his own legal representative should, together with medical professionals and child welfare officials, collaborate to develop the appropriate treatment plan, regardless of the parents' religious beliefs. To me, doing otherwise is child neglect and endangerment.

Of course, my opinion is colored by the fact that I do not belong to a religion that eschews traditional medical treatment. But I agree that a line needs to be drawn between parental rights and state rights where medical treatment and other issues are concerned. There is a potential slippery slope if the line hovers too far toward state rights. For example, should the state intervene to require vegan parents to feed their children foods it deems more appropriate to sustain their growing bodies? Should the state be allowed to forbid a parent from homeschooling their child or treating a non-life threatening illness with homeopathic or alternative medicine rather than traditional drugs? There are already state mandates regarding child car seat use, school attendance and some vaccinations are required before children can attend daycare or public school.

What concerned me most about the Hauser case was that, although he was 13, Daniel was homeschooled, illiterate and could not even identify the word "the" when tested by a teacher for entrance into a charter school. In addition, doctors testified that chemotherapy had an over 90% success rate in curing his type of Hodgkins lymphoma. In fact, the cancer was responsive to the one treatment he previously had and grew larger once treatment stopped. I think the judge in this case did an excellent job of weighing the issues and crafting a reasonable resolution that did not separate a scared child in extreme pain from his concerned, but perhaps misguided, parents during his next set of chemotherapy treatments.

9 months old.

2009-05-20T13:42:00.008-04:00

Kate turned 9 months old yesterday. Here she is on the swings at Patriarche Park in East Lansing last Sunday. Today, she had her 9 month well-baby visit and continues to thrive. Her iron and hemoglobin levels were excellent, and she did not have to receive any vaccinations this time. She is 22 lbs, 4 ozs (93rd percentile) and 29 inches long (91st percentile) up from 19 lbs, 11 ozs and 27 1/4 inches 3 months ago.

She is cruising on the furniture and standing alone for a few seconds at a time. Walking cannot be all that far behind. We are working on waving and feeding herself bite-sized foods. The girl loves her oat puffs and Yo Baby yogurt, fruits, veggies and some table foods but still looks at meats with derision. And, much to our chagrin, she does not understand the concept of "no!"

She loves to be sung and read to, be hung upside down, to dance with Mama or Dada and to play on the swing or slide at the playground. C takes her to an infant play group and to storytime at the public library once per week. We cannot believe it is already time to plan her first birthday party!

First Mother's Day

2009-05-12T08:05:00.004-04:00

Grandma and Kate Mama & Kate

C bought me a dozen orange roses and three cards for Mother's Day--one from Kate (with her finger painted autograph), one from the cats and one from C. We then had brunch at my Grandma's with my Mom, Stepdad, aunts, uncle and cousins. What a perfect first Mother's Day!

Happy Anniversary to us!

2009-04-21T16:11:00.003-04:00

Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary to us! What a year together it has been. C surprised me at work today with pink daisies and lavender tulips, and we went to lunch together as a family. We will not get to see much of each other tonight, as C has orchestra rehearsal. Fortunately, we already had our fancy night out 2 weeks ago at a steakhouse at the MGM Grand, Detroit while my Grandma Rosalie and Aunt Elaine babysat Kate.

I love you, Sweetheart! I remain grateful that you chose me.

8 months old!

2009-04-20T00:26:00.003-04:00

Our little girl is 8 months old. Last week, she began crawling forward and gaining more independence. So far, she is a vegetarian, as she gags on the pureed meats. Based on the way they smell, I would, too. However, she loves rice cereal or oatmeal mixed with pureed fruits.

She constantly scans the room with her curious eyes and enjoys being in new places with new people. When comfortable, she displays her budding linguistic skills with all sorts of babbles, laughs, grunts and squeals. She circulated happily at Easter dinner in her poofy, pretty party dress.

Yesterday, we went to a Lamb Festival on a local farm, and she observed the scene seriously and quietly not sure what to make of all the "maaaaas." Soon after her tour of the barn, she fell fast asleep in her stroller.

She uses her hands in a raking manner and adeptly picks up her pacifier and places it back in her mouth when it falls out. She is also loving "Peek-a-Boo," the "Itsy Bitsy Spider," and "Pat-a-Cake" in addition to nearly any other song. She laughs with joy when sung "You are my Sunshine" and is starting to enjoy storytime more and more--especially rhyming books like Dr. Seuss or Mother Goose.

We visited her Gram and Uncle Bill in Virginia and DC in late March. Unfortunately, she had her first stomach virus her first few nights there while staying at a friend's house. Fortunately, they have a 3-year-old daughter, a scotch-guarded couch and some Pedialyte. A few days later, C also got violently ill for one day, followed by Gram and me with less symptoms. Kate had a blast playing with 3-year-old Ivy who could not stop hugging and kissing her (photos on C's camera.) She also enjoyed all of the one-on-one time with her Gram who played with and sang to her tons.

She is starting to say "Dada" and "Mama" more frequently and sometimes with apparent meaning--sometimes not (C claims that she called the cat, her toys and most other objects "Mama.") We cannot wait to see what her 9th month will bring....

Seven Months Old.

2009-03-19T10:09:00.006-04:00

C did a great job with this photo yesterday. I have been a bit recalcitrant in posting monthly updates and have 5 month professional family portraits still waiting to be posted.

Kate is 7 months old today. At her 6.5 month check-up, she was 19 lbs, 11 ozs (94th percentile) and 27 1/4" long (88th percentile). She started cutting her first tooth (bottom front) last week, which explained her recent night owl activities.

She is attending a bi-weekly play group in Lansing with her Daddy and other stay at home parents we met on the Lansing Moms Like Me site. We also signed up for a weekly swimming lesson at the local YMCA, but she has not been enjoying it (possibly due to the cooler water temperature than expected.) We left after 5 minutes last week during "Simon Says" in complete meltdown mode.

She is not yet crawling but pivoting and rolling around the room rapidly like a chubby bowling pin. She also pulls herself to a standing position with assistance and is able to briefly stand on her own while holding onto furniture. The nurses guessed that she would be walking by 9 months.

She now takes her baths in the big tub surrounded by toys and has eaten carrots (loves), green beans, squash, sweet potatoes, peaches, applesauce (loves), and prunes (loves--great!) She is not a fan of sweet peas.

In comparing her growth and activities to my own (thanks, Mom, for maintaining a baby calendar), we grew at about the same pace, but I was startled to see that the pediatrician back then had my Mom starting me on solids at 1 month old! I did not respond well, so that was delayed for a few more months, thankfully.

Gettin' Lucky.

2009-03-18T11:13:00.004-04:00

This article from The O Magazine really got me thinking about re-training your mind to unravel your own happiness. I am certainly no expert on cognitive psychology, but I have had life experiences to back up its recommendations. There really do seem to be folks in our lives who seem inordinately burdened with misfortune or blessed with good luck. Most of it appears out of their control, but is it?

It sounds cliche, but the saying "your attitude affects your altitude" could not be more true. Folding your arms across your chest, avoiding eye contact and standing in the corner during a social event does not attract interesting conversation or new friendship. Something as simple as a friendly smile and eye contact can make all the difference. Being a joiner and keeping an open and aware mind also helps increase the chances of positive interactions with others.

I recall admiring extroverted people in my life who invite others into their circle everywhere they go. At the extreme end of the spectrum are people like my Aunt Linda who strike up conversations with bank tellers, grocery store cashiers and passengers on planes, even though they will likely never meet again. Most people decline to make the social investment in such situations when the investment could actually reap unimagined dividends. The more people you know, the more opportunities for happiness and connection (professionally and personally) you create. See--Facebook, LinkedIn and its ilk really do have a positive purpose!

I also took to heart my Dad's advice that you can learn something from everyone--from the uneducated farm hand to the Harvard-educated Wall Street maverick. Everyone has a story to tell and a lesson to teach, which is perhaps best personified by the StoryCorps oral history project. Featured on National Public Radio (NPR) broadcasts, since 2003, it has recorded conversations between two people who are important to each other connecting and talking about things that matter. Sometimes it is a Grandson interviewing his Grandfather about an important or life changing event or an older couple reminiscing about their years together. This called to mind my audiotaped interview with my Papa about his experiences during WWII and the recordings my Aunt Elaine made of my Great-Grandmother about her experiences as a child during the Armenian Genocide, which occurred contemporaneously with WWI.

My good friend, Nobuko, also gave me a book (newest version here) that compiled written essays from the This I Believe national media project. It is based on a popular 1950s radio series hosted by Edward R. Murrow. The essays, read by the author, are often broadcast on NPR and share personal philosophies and core values of writers from all walks of life. One of my personal goals is to some day write something worthy of this project. Would you?

Child Safety Seats

2009-03-16T15:42:00.004-04:00

C and I have been navigating the complicated market for convertible child car seats, since Kate is nearing her infant car seat's height limit, and we want to keep her in the safer rear facing position beyond the 20 lbs and 12 months old recommendations. Note: At 6 months old, Kate, my petite flower, is already 20 lbs. She is also tall with long legs that are reaching the end of her infant seat.

Like my search for the best initial car seat, there is a dizzying array of options on the market catering to different heights, weights, uses and budgets. So far, I mentioned Baby Bargains as a good resource for buying all things baby. I also stumbled upon this resource from the American Academy of Pediatricians. Thank goodness for charts with height and weight comparisons as well as some guidelines for when a child can transition to a forward facing seat, a booster seat with harnesses, a booster seat without harnesses and finally just a seat belt in the back seat.

So far, I think we are buying the Graco ComfortSport (up to 40" and 40 lbs for about $80 at Target), unless we decide to spring for a model that will last beyond 3-4 years, like the First Years True Fit Convertible Car Seat (up to 50" and 65 lbs for about $180) or the Evenflo Symphony Convertible Car Seat (all-in-one rear & forward facing plus converts to a booster seat up to 100 lbs for about $200.) We are trying to avoid the ultra expensive but well reviewed Britax models that cost $300+. Hmmm....how big will you be at 3 years old, Kate?

Most states now have a child safety seat and booster seat law that requires all children to be restrained until they reach a certain height or weight and/or age. In Michigan, all children must remain in a safety seat until they are 4'9" and 8 years old, effective July 1, 2008. See MCL 257.710e.

Childhood Vaccinations.

2009-02-17T17:18:00.002-05:00

This is such a hot button topic on nearly every internet-based parenting board or magazine. Some parents are adamently against vaccinating their children for any disease, others selectively vaccinate their children (usually omitting or delaying the MMR vaccine) and still others strictly follow their pediatrician's advice and the CDC Immunization Schedules.

I will disclose that we fall squarely within camp #3 after researching the research on this issue. Also, my husband is a scientist. All of the reliable medical evidence is on our side in addition to a recent court ruling that there is no link between mercury-laden vaccines and the MMR vaccine and autism in children. Reporter Campbell Brown from CNN recently summarized our sentiments on the research and court ruling here.

I want to emphasize one of Brown's points and my largest concern. The more people either refuse to vaccinate or delay vaccinating their children, the more once arrested communicable diseases will experience resurgences and spread among our population. Keep in mind that immunizing your child is not the only intended consequence of the vaccination program; immunizing everyone protects your child before she receives each vaccination from encountering someone who could transmit that disease to her. The more non-immunized living amongst us, the more risk to everyone's infants and toddlers of diseases once fatal or permanently debilitating to those populations. In addition, sometimes the vaccination dose given is insufficient to prompt a strong enough immune response from a particular child. Instead, we must rely upon other successful immunizations to help protect her from exposure to the disease. Anecdotally, my dentist told me that her one-year-old, despite adherence to the immunization schedule, contracted the Rotavirus from a daycare setting.

In addition, the Times of London recently conducted an investigative report concluding that the scientist who published the study linking the MMR vaccine to autism was found to have improperly altered his data to derive the result he desired. This offends principled scientists and researchers who spend much of their time painstakingly testing hypotheses in a manner that can be replicated.

So, we immunize our children not just to protect them but also to protect others from potentially life threatening diseases. And the science behind Dr. Wakefield's 1998 paper should not be trusted. I choose to rely upon the mountain of scientific evidence that contradicts his findings instead. I can only hope that other parents' decisions not to immunize do not adversely impact my child or other children. What do you think?

Rock 'n Roll!

2009-01-30T22:43:00.003-05:00

Kate is 5 months old. About a week ago, she began rolling over. She did it so quickly that we missed it the first time. Then she surprised us by not only rolling front to back but also back to front. Tonight, I discovered her rolled from her back to her stomach with her head propped up in her crib. However, she was distraught at being unable to roll back over due to being pressed up against the (breathable) crib bumper. Silly girl.

Out with the Old.

2009-01-06T10:49:00.005-05:00

I copied this from Wishokie's site after reading her insightful responses. Feel free to post your own answers, either in the comments or on your own blog! Here are mine:

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Gave birth/became a mother; underwent surgery (C-section); tried to breastfeed; bought a minivan; filled a stocking.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't generally make resolutions, but I always have long term goals like move more, eat less, save more, clean more and call more. I am still trying.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Me on 8/19/08, Becky & Steve (Benjamin), Sejal & Jeff (Shayla), Jennifer & Marc (Alex), Stephanie & Andy (Gretchen), Heather & Jim (Holly), Onya & Clay (Tyler) plus one of Chris's work friends and some on line friends. It is a baby boom in our circles with more on the way.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My maternal Grandfather died on 12/30/08.

5. What countries did you visit?
Too busy being pregnant and wrangling a newborn to travel.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A finished basement and a clean and well-organized house. I know, I know....dream on.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
8/19/08 when Kate was born and 12/30/08 when Papa died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Kate!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting my weight creep back up and our messy, disorganized house.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
UTIs, high blood pressure & nausea during pregnancy. Preeclampsia that necessitated the administration of magnesium sulfate, and eventually, a C-section where they also removed noncancerous ovarian cysts. Also, 3.5 months after delivery, I developed an unexplained case of hives all over my body for 2 days that went away with antihistamines. This overlapped with a sore throat from hell that turned out to be nothing.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our minivan--so much easier. Also--our snowblower. Also so much easier.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Chris's. He is a fun, talented and affectionate Daddy to Kate, and he was a huge help to my family when my Papa was in his last days.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Madoff using a Ponzi scheme to rob people (I also learned what a Ponzi scheme is), IL corrupt politics, the Caylee Anthony homicide and similar crimes and, more generally, others who do not have enough love and respect for themselves to care for their children properly.

14. Where did most of your money go?
House/Baby/food/car purchase

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Obama's election & Kate's smile and giggle

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
The K-k-k aty song that Papa sang to Kate when he met her.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About the same.
b) thinner or fatter? Slightly fatter, I think. I was only 1 month pregnant then.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Taken more time off work before delivery. Slept & exercised more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Eaten, fretted, nagged.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
It was Kate's first Christmas, so we decorated our house and filled stockings. We had dinner at my Aunt Julie's on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, we got up early, opened our stockings and our presents from Chris's Mom and Brother and from each other. Then we had a large breakfast at my Grandma's with the extended family, opened Kate's many presents and ours, visited Papa in the nursing home where we sang Christmas carols and fed him ice cream and came home to a wonderful Christmas dinner cooked by Chris. The days afterward we spent at my Dad's house opening more gifts for Kate and us and playing "Dancing with the Stars" on the Wii.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
More and more deeply every day with Kate and with Chris.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
We rarely missed watching "Dancing with the Stars," "Grey's Anatomy," "Desperate Housewives" and "Brothers & Sisters." We also bid a fond farewell to "Boston Legal."

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
It was either The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, Baby Bargains or What to Expect When you're Expecting. Super exciting stuff! I started to read a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel--really I did. I just did not get very far.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Adele

26. What did you want and get?
A point and shoot digital camera, a Blue-ray HD DVD player, make-up & Chris home with Kate

27. What did you want and not get?
We cannot find a damn Wii console anywhere for its retail price. Nintendo, we want to give you our money. Please take it! Chris has taken to stalking Walmart, Sam's Club, Target and Toys'r Us. Watch out!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
"The Dark Knight" for Heather Ledger's performance. We did not see many films this year, but we are catching up by using Blockbuster online.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Our neighbor Julie, and her daughter, Megan, babysat Kate while I enjoyed a delicious dinner at All Seasons Bistro in East Lansing with Chris. I was 33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not sure.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Anything that actually fits. Thank you, Target, TJ Maxx sales racks and Motherhood Maternity.

32. What kept you sane?
The routine of work, enough sleep, Chris, my family and writing about it.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I kind of have a crush on Jon Stewart and his show.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Worry about the long term impact of a bankrupt Big 3 automaker.

35. Who did you miss?
My Papa. Also, my best friend, Shantala, who lives far away.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Kate. We are still getting to know each other.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
There is no one right way to do parenthood. Also, those tabs on the sides of aluminum foil and plastic wrap are there to hold the roll in place.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I've got you under my skin/I've got you deep in the heart of me/so deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.

Sooooo Big!

2009-01-05T21:53:00.005-05:00

Kate had her 4 month well-baby visit today. She is actually 4.5 months old, so the percentiles may be a bit misleading. She measured 25 3/4 inches long (85th percentile and up from 23 inches at two months) and 16 pounds (82nd percentile and up from 11 lbs, 5 oz. at two months). Perhaps most dramatically, her head circumference increased from 38.5 inches (45th percentile) to 42.5 inches (78th percentile) in two months. Girl, you have a big head!

Lately, she has been enjoying rattling off a constant string of gutteral "Mmmmm...mmmmm....mmmmm" sounds. She has mastered all of her 4 month skills except for rolling over, although she gets an "A" for effort. She is giggling more loudly when Daddy blows raspberries on her neck and cheeks and tickles her all over. And, although the nurse practitioner today could find no evidence of cutting teeth, we think the teething process has begun. The drool is fairly constant, and she often has her whole fist shoved into her mouth with occasional fussiness. She is also sleeping more during the day while maintaining her typical 8-10 hour nighttime siesta, as well.

2008 Holiday Newsletter

2008-12-31T21:23:00.011-05:00

The 2007 Reviews are in…

"You masterfully use the mature ego defenses of intellectualization and humor to delight the reader in your annual newsletter. Love it!"
--Jeanette N., Psychiatrist

“This one was your best yet. Hilarious and informative.”
--Gloria L., writer and editor

“Very funny!”
--Erin L., State Court of Appeals Law Clerk

“I have been looking forward to it all year! :)”
Michelle W., Parochial School Teacher

“There’s so much hilarious stuff in here that I don’t even begin to know how to respond. Who knew that a lawyer and a post doc could write/edit comedy so well?!! Well done!”
Lori L., Economic Development State Employee

“Great newsletter--I laughed, I cried, I felt dirty, scared and nostalgic....who knew your words could do so much?”
Kortni F., Pain Management Doc
________________________________________________________

The Dana family had a fairly uneventful 2008. We only found out we created human life, rushed ourselves to the ER/urgent care 3 times, passed one kidney stone, delivered one baby, cheered on Michael Phelps as he won 8 Olympic gold medals, created a family web site, www.danafamilycircle.blogspot.com, helped the US elect the first President of color, watched gas spike to $4.00/gallon and then back down to $1.50; we worried about the continued viability of the Big Three auto manufacturers, Chris began working as a wedding photographer on weekends and became a stay at home Dad during the week.

A Visit from the Boob Fairy

I have never in my life hoped that I would puke unexpectedly (or at all, really) or poked my boobs to see if they ached almost to the point of causing them to ache. Then I did. For Christmas, I received a new set of inflated boobs that were even noticeable to Chris. At Chris’s urging, I took a pregnancy test that morning, and 2 lines appeared.

Almost immediately after I confirmed the results with a second test, I began to experience the bloat from hell. It was 10 times worse than eating too much chili. I began hoping that my office mate would stay away after the holidays a bit longer, so I could more discreetly fart and relieve the pressure.

Kim’s Deranged Stomach

January marked my first month of pregnancy. Things were humming along, and I did not feel any different, except for an occasional cramp. Then, in February, I realized that I would not escape the nausea fairy. One Slate article used an ages old term for morning sickness: "deranged stomach." Another pregnancy book called it "progesterone poisoning." In any event, I definitely felt deranged and poisoned—night and day. My writhing and moaning was not sexy, according to my darling husband.

Neither was my, at times, unexpected and rotting corpse-like flatulence. Our cat, Kanu, slept curled around my butt one night. The sound and force of the gastric discharge startled him out of a dead sleep, and he soon chose less odiferous quarters, reported Chris--this from a person who once caused me to wake up and scream from the sound of his half awake belch right into my ear.

Our Little Peanut

Our first OB appointment was scheduled a bit too early in the pregnancy at 8 weeks. Medical personnel, including the doctor, desperately tried to locate a fetal heartbeat using a Doppler without success. At one point, the OB had her finger in my vajayjay pushing up against my uterus with my head facing the floor and my feet in the air. Still nothing. Impressed with my own dexterity, I was quickly whisked away for an ultrasound. They immediately detected the heartbeat, and we were able to see the peanut-sized fetus and beating heart on the monitor. This made me cry.

Observations of a Pregnant Woman

The number of pregnancy no-nos baffles me. It is a wonder that we eat and drink anything other than personally purified water direct from a known aquifer that was blessed by the Pope and organic vegetables personally grown in a toxoplasmosis-free soil. Being the natural rebel I am, I had dental x-rays and a root canal, occasionally ate raw sushi, feta cheese and unheated lunch meats, drank diet beverages and caffeinated tea. We are also instructed not to sleep on our backs for fear of cutting off oxygen supply to the fetus. During pregnancy, I slept in a tangle of body length pillows and wedges that increasingly threatened to expel the cats and Chris from the bed each night. Regardless, and to Chris’s chagrin, I often wound up on my back snoring by morning.

As pregnancy progressed, I belched and farted liberally, slept too much, acquired bigger boobs and gained all my weight in my gut so that it hung over my waist band. I also scratched myself all over, b/c of my stretching skin. I became convinced that being pregnant is like being an overweight, middle-aged man…with a fetus.

We Now Know what we Don’t Know

For much of July, we attended childbirth education classes and toured the maternity ward. We learned breathing and comforting techniques, child care methods and misconceptions and later term maternity care. It was useful and nice to be among 30 or so other couples going through the same things at the same time, but most of the information presented could be found in the literature I already read. Basically, we commiserated over how little we knew about what to do once our bundles of joy arrived. I found this oddly reassuring.

Kidney Stones, Childbirth, or Both?

Also in July, we rushed to the emergency room in the early morning hours one night. Although the overnight valet at the hospital thought otherwise at first, we were not there for me. Chris was experiencing severe flank pain reminiscent of the kidney stone he passed several years ago. A CT scan confirmed that he did, indeed, have a stone, and it was rather large. The ER doc referred him to an urologist after controlling his pain, sent him home with at least 3 prescriptions designed to relieve his pain and help the stone to pass. Hours after returning home and taking the prescription medication, Chris began having an allergic reaction. Back to the ER went we. He was fine in a few hours.

While getting prepped for surgery to remove it, Chris decided against it, and we went home. A few days later, after a particularly bumpy ride on Orchard Lake Road and drinking one beer, the 7 X 5 mm stone passed on its own without incident. Thus, my nightmares of both of us lying on adjoining hospital beds like a scene out of a medical drama were dashed.

Around the same time, I experienced an extremely acute urinary tract infection. Knowing that it could harm the baby, we rushed to urgent care. The pain and urgency were intense, and I was scared. My blood sugar spiked high, and they found signs of protein as well as bacteria in my urine. Thankfully, I saw my OB a few days later, and the sugar was gone, no significant protein detected, and my infection was under control.

A Kate is Born

Katherine Rose Dana was born at 6:13 PM on Tuesday, August 19, 2008. She was 7 pounds, 2 ounces and measured 19.3 inches long. More details of the “Birth Day” can be found here. Photos from birth to present are constantly being updated here: www.chrisdanaphotography.com. Most commented on how much hair she had and how much she looks like her Daddy. My Dad, Brother, Sister, Stepdad and Mom all stayed overnight in the waiting room to meet Kate as soon as she was born. Chris’s Mom arrived two days later to help get our house ready for her arrival home and meet her new granddaughter.

My Mom and Stepmom also helped us out in our early days home from the hospital. Many of you visited us in the hospital or upon our arrival home and brought us great comfort and cheer, gifts and dinner. Others sent us gifts, good wishes and love from afar. Thank you all so much!

Boot Camp for New Parents

Nature has a way of training new parents for the immense task of parenthood early on. I like to call it Baby Boot Camp. Along with the general “do I know what I am doing?” fears of new parenthood, there is also the near constant sleep deprivation. Yeah, that. One late night/early morning when Kate was only a few weeks old, we both awoke to her hungry cries over the baby monitor. Chris popped awake and immediately leapt to action. Remembering that it was my turn to feed her, he handed me the burp cloth and said, “Here. This is grapefruit juice. She has had it before. She likes it. It’s good for her.” In my sleep-drunken state, I started to nod my head and say “OK,” when I realized that: 1. She did not eat or drink anything since birth except for breast milk and formula, and 2. He did not hand me anything resembling juice. A few nights earlier, Chris woke up in an agitated state and began frantically searching his pillow for Kate. I am still unsure of whether he thought he accidentally put her inside of the pillow case, or that she somehow escaped her crib, crawled into our room and leapt into our bed on her own. One month olds are crafty that way.

I may laugh at Chris’s expense, but I also exhibited some symptoms of the sleep deprived. During her first few weeks of life, we could not get her to sleep for more than one to two hour stretches, so we each took shifts to get consecutive hours of sleep. While on my 3 AM to wake- up shift, I attempted to pour pre-made formula into a Playtex drop-ins bottle. I did this maybe 3-4 times, each time with the formula spilling in large quantities onto the floor below. All the while, Kate’s hungry wails grew more insistent, and I began cursing the bottle, the formula, etc. Alarmed at the clatter downstairs, Chris came to see what was happening. I was pouring the formula into a bottle holder without a bottle liner to hold it. Repeatedly.

Basic Training

We swaddled, we pacified, shushed and used white noise. When she favored a particular pacifier or toy, we went out to buy out the store of them. Spit up stains were like badges of courage. We felt like baby whisperers. Eventually, Kate fell into a better sleep schedule and was sleeping in 5-8 hour stretches by about 2 months of age. Then she caught a cold and an antibiotic-resistant ear infection in daycare, and our confidence was shaken a bit. After 3 rounds of antibiotics and expelling a quantity of phlegm that even disturbed the people at the day care center, she was cured.

Like her Momma while pregnant, Kate is not shy about passing gas. Her burps cause a room full of busy daycare workers to turn around and take notice. Her farts could be blamed on uncouth, burly men with names like Bubba or Lefty. How that much noise escapes from such tiny holes is another natural wonder. Early on, she earned the monikers of "Gaseous Clay" and "Vladimir Pootin'." The cats are still nervous wrecks from the noise.

I’ve got it Covered

I planned on breastfeeding nearly exclusively for as long as possible. Unfortunately, nature had other plans. Kate would not latch on properly and would fall asleep soon after starting a feeding or cry intensely after a short time latched on. I asked every one of my nurses in the hospital for help, consulted with 3 lactation specialists in and out of the hospital, pumped every 3 hours, took herbs and drugs to stimulate my breast milk producing hormones, and I could still only pump ¼ of an ounce 3 weeks into motherhood. I grew so used to quickly pulling out my boobs, thinking about allowing easy access to my boobs and having others handle and comment on my boobs that I lost nearly all senses of modesty where they were concerned. Fortunately, I taught myself not to do this when I returned from maternity leave. At least there are great formulas on the market now, and Kate is growing and thriving well.

Daddy Daycare

In December, Chris ended his post doctoral research position for the Biochemistry Department at MSU and began staying home full time with Kate. Now, neither she nor we are catching some kind of bug every other week. And he is picking up more wedding photography assignments on weekends, which he enjoys, along with playing the violin with the Mason community orchestra. I am happily back to work full time. It is far less work than staying at home.

Gasp…I own a Minivan

In November and December, we fueled the waning economy with several large purchases. Horror of horrors, we bought a minivan. I never thought I would own one, but I am also all about being practical. I could not squeeze my fat arse in the back seat of my Accord with the car seat and diaper bag to tend to a complaining infant. Also, the mandatory equipment that comes with a baby is a bit too large for my trunk to bear. Parenthood is admittedly easier with a minivan.

I also replaced my dead laptop, finally got new glasses (our cat basically gnawed my old ones), bought a snow blower, and a chest freezer.

Kissin’ Babies

I know; I know. Most of this newsletter is consumed with new parenthood. It kinda changed our lives. However, there was also a Presidential election and great economic uncertainty this year. There were pit bulls wearing lipstick, or were they pigs? There were plumbers with six packs named Joe. Can I call you Joe? Perhaps most importantly, amidst the auto maker and financial bailouts and horrible violence in Mumbai and elsewhere, there is a new optimism in the US and around the world along with the upcoming change in administrations. I don’t know about you, but I am rooting for a better 2009 and beyond, especially now that Kate is here. Happy New Years to you and your family. Let’s do and be more!

Content edited for humor by Chris Dana
Muse: Kate Dana

Farewell "Handsome Rascal"

2008-12-31T20:24:00.005-05:00

On December 30, 2008, my maternal Grandfather, Edward Kourken Torossian, died at 85 after a heartbreaking 2-year battle with lymphoma, chronic infections and heart failure. I am grateful that his suffering is finally over, because his vigorous and passionate nature withered slowly away during this time.

He was the tallest guy in the room (in many ways), and his booming, animated and professorial voice filled it. He bravely served as a bomber pilot in WWII whose B-24 was once shot down in France. He held strong opinions on nearly every topic and current event and deeply enjoyed engaging in spirited debates with any willing and able opponent. He reveled in elaborate orations and singing songs from his youth. He celebrated and enthusiastically shared his Armenian heritage in food, drink, dance and values.

As his first and oldest grandchild, I fondly recall being lifted heavenward over his head, hugging his long spindly legs as a toddler, calling him a "handsome rascal," marveling at his size 14 shoes and strong muscles, learning to throw a punch and to stop saying "like" after every word as a teenager. I enjoyed eating his homemade madzoon (Armenian yogurt) on everything and anything, going caroling together on Christmas Eve, arguing about politics, talking about a healthy diet and fitness, jogging together side by side, the value of hard work and compounding interest, and eventually, introducing my newborn daughter to her Great-Grandfather. The photo above depicts their first meeting.

He was married to the love of his life for over 60 years, Rosalie, had 4 daughters, 6 grandchildren and one great-granddaughter, our Kate. Also surviving are one older sister and brother-in-law and his niece and nephew.

Visitation will be from 6-9 PM on Friday, Jan. 2, and the funeral will be on Sat., Jan. 3 starting a 9:30 AM, both at St. John's Armenian Church, 22001 Northwestern Hwy., Southfield, Michigan.

Santa is Pissed.

2008-12-13T23:45:00.005-05:00

Santa looks pissed. Perhaps it is the bad economy. Kate does not look so pleased herself. We stood in line at the mall today to get this photo taken and then later discovered a line-less Sam's Club Santa shortly afterwards with parents taking their own photos. Wholesale Santa photos. Who knew?

Holiday Spirit

2008-12-03T15:18:00.003-05:00

I neglected to post a photo when Kate recently turned 3 months old. So, instead, you get one taken over the past weekend more in line with the upcoming holidays.

It is becoming easier to coax a smile out of her with the help of her now favorite toy--a wrist rattle with a small red monkey face. Bonus points if you make "ooh-ooh, aaah, aaah" monkey sounds while holding it in front of her. In fact, I think C had to crop out Mr. Monkey face in this photo.

We not only took our family portraits, but we finally put up the Christmas lights and decorations this weekend. Kate looked fairly amused at the tree but soon turned her attention back to Mr. Monkey face instead. We also found out that, after three rounds of antibiotics, her ear infection is finally gone! Also, she now weighs 13 pounds, 8 ounces--almost double her birth weight.

Stir it Up Michelle Obama!

2008-11-25T12:56:00.003-05:00

Leslie Morgan Steiner, a former writer for the on line version of the Washington Post, offers this interesting commentary about the possibilities for our new First Lady of Color: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/24/steiner.michelle.obama/index.html. Whether you stand at the right, left or center of the aisle, you must admit that she is right about the Bush ladies fading into the background. For goodness sake, controversy and expressing one's opinions will not kill a person. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what issues Ms. Obama chooses to speak up about. And being a recently inducted working mother, I would also like to see her tackle work/life balance issues and work on getting our family and medical leave laws changed to require paid leave for a period of time that rivals other industrialized countries. Perhaps I should start a new blog entry on that issue alone?

Talking Katemonster

2008-11-23T17:44:00.002-05:00

I Want my Mummy!

2008-11-05T15:44:00.006-05:00

Here is a cute photo taken by her day care provider, Ms. Cyndi, last week. You cannot see it, but her onesie underneath the bib reads "I Want my Mummy!"

Unfortunately, we found out that Kate had an ear and sinus infection to add to her upper respiratory infection around Halloween, so we have been busy administering medication, going back and forth to the pediatrician's office and wondering how many times it is appropriate to call their 24-hour help line to ask a sick baby question. It also turns out that she does not fuss that much when she is in pain, so we have to be super vigilant in picking up on her signs of discomfort.

We did not find out she had a problem, until day care called to tell us she had mucus oozing out of her eyes. You may be thinking--how appropriate for Halloween. It can indicate infection elsewhere in the body. Cue anti-bacterial eye drops and antibiotics. Unfortunately, we were back in the doctor's office a few days later only to find out that her ear infection was likely Amoxicillin-resistant. Hopefully, the stronger antibiotic will do the trick. She has been sleeping and eating well; she just gets fussy at times, and we give her infant Tylenol to help with the ear ache. It broke my heart a few days ago when I discovered her whimpering and taking short, quick breaths. Luckily, she is no longer doing this. Le sigh.

She did manage to paint a mini-pumpkin and a piece of art work in day care, to watch her Daddy carving our big pumpkin and to help us pass out Halloween candy (if lying snugly wrapped in her blankie on Daddy's lap counts as helping.)

Newborn Wrangling Advice.

2008-10-27T10:25:00.006-04:00

As many people are fond of saying, newborns do not arrive home from the hospital or birthing center with an instruction manual, much to the chagrin of newly minted parents. And most prenatal classes focus on pregnancy and labor and delivery with one session on "newborn care." In fact, my Mom told me that she attended many Lamaze classes in the seventies and read all sorts of pregnancy literature, but it slipped her mind to learn or read anything about childcare before I arrived. Luckily, her Mom was there to teach her the ropes.

Almost as soon as the home pregnancy test displays a plus sign, well-meaning folks begin dispensing with parenting advice. Swaddle your child to help her sleep/swaddling your child can cause SIDS, Co-sleeping is best/Co-sleeping is not safe, respond promptly to all her cries/let her cry herself to sleep (i.e., the Ferber method), follow the CDC's immunization schedule/avoid some immunizations, do XYZ to help your child sleep through the night/allow her to develop her own sleeping schedule, feed her on schedule every 2-3 hours/feed her on demand, etc. The only consistent messages we hear: 1. Do not shake the baby, 2. Back to sleep, tummy to play, 3. Use a rear-facing car seat until at least 20 pounds and 12 months old, and 4. Breastfeeding is good. What I learned in my short tenure as a Mom is that one size does not fit all, and people are extremely opinionated about these issues, but it is a good idea to at least listen to it, do your own independent research, and decide what works best for your family.

So far, we are blessed with a relatively predictable newborn who does not cry inconsolably for three hours a day (the hallmark of true colic.) Farts loudly and frequently while whining in displeasure? Check. Burps loud enough to cause a room full of day care workers and children turn around and take notice? Check. Produces enough spit-up to fill a bottle nearly every day? You betcha!

For us, we found the following advice most useful:

Dr. Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD: http://thehappiestbaby.com/. He explains that the first 3 months of life are really like the 4th trimester of pregnancy. To soothe your newborn, you must create an environment similar to the womb by using the 5 "S's": Swaddling, Place baby on her Side or Stomach, Shushing her in her ear, Swinging, and Sucking. Kate responds best to swaddling, sucking her pacifier and swinging, but sometimes the others help ease her to sleep or at least out of a cryfest, too.

White noise. Our friend, M, suggested investing in a white noise machine to help Kate fall and stay asleep, and it totally works. We bought ours from Target: http://www.target.com/Conair-Infant-Sound-Machine-SU7/dp/B000EXTWHA/sr=1-15/qid=1225119387/ref=sr_1_15/179-3486258-1850628?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Awhite%20noise&page=1.

Learn how to decipher the difference between her cries. Kate actually makes different noises and exhibits different body language when she is hungry vs. overtired vs. in pain. http://www.parents.com/baby/care/crying-colic/why-is-baby-crying/. One Australian woman even studied many newborns for patterns in their crying: http://www.babyzone.com/baby/nurturing/crying/photos_decode_baby_cries/2. 1. "Neh/Nah" means hungry, 2. "Owh" produced with a mouth shaped similar to a yawn means tired, 3. Repetitive "eh-eh-eh" means "burp me!", 4. "eeerrrhhh" means she has gas, and 5. "heh" means she is uncomfortable. Once you learn the sounds and body language specific to your baby, it is sometimes possible to catch the request before it escalates to screaming.

Most helpful books: What to Expect the First Year, by Heidi Murkoff, http://www.whattoexpect.com/store/ProductDisplayDetail.aspx (the infant care bible) and Baby Bargains, by Denise and Alan Fields, http://www.windsorpeak.com/babybargains/ (find out what gear is best for your money and what you can skip.)

Most helpful web sites/magazines: http://www.parenting.com/ (home of Babytalk and Parenting magazines and covers nearly every child care topic and controversy in a non-judgmental way); http://www.parents.com/ (home of American Baby, Family Circle and Parents magazines); What to Expect the First Year, http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/landing-page.aspx (companion to the book); ivillage, http://parenting.ivillage.com/; CDC Vaccinations, http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/ (get the facts); American Academy of Pediatrics, http://www.aap.org/ (child health and safety); U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, http://www.cpsc.gov/ (check for baby gear and toy recalls), the La Leche League, http://www.llli.org/nb.html (breastfeeding advice and support).

Sign up for newsletters and coupons at baby product web sites and stores like Target, Walmart, Babies 'r Us, Gerber, Similac, Enfamil, Pampers, Huggies, etc. Each company wants to get you hooked on their product or store, so they will give you free samples and coupons at every turn.

Do not forget to take care of yourselves postpartum. Moms and Dads need to eat right, find romantic time together, time apart, and try to find time for exercise, even if you do it with your newborn. I am already kinda laughing at the notion of playing patty cake with Kate while doing lunges, but hey, I am willing to try it. She already thinks her Mommy is a bit nuts.

I am sure there is more that I just cannot recall at this moment. Please feel free to share your advice and/or favorite resources.

Two Months Old!

2008-10-20T11:19:00.006-04:00

Our Kate Monster suddenly became a 2 month old this past Sunday. She is 23 inches long (75th percentile) and 11.5 pounds (60th percentile.) She was 8 pounds, 13 ounces and 21 1/4 inches long one month ago.

Unfortunately, she also has a cold. I was surprised to learn that infants typically suffer from 6-10 upper respiratory infections per year--more in day care settings. At least she is building up her immune system early!

She also endured her first major round of vaccinations well. We held her hands, she screamed briefly, and then C distracted her with her bottle. Perhaps my telling her that it would only hurt for a few seconds proved ineffective.

Birth Day

2008-10-17T15:38:00.004-04:00

While on maternity leave, I often watched the Discovery Health Channel to avoid the many talk shows, soap operas and mind numbing female-centric TV movies that dominate daytime television. They have a string of shows concerning pregnancy and child birth. One called "Birth Day," http://health.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=62.5711.107816.14984.13, chronicles a pregnant couple's big day in the hospital and never fails to make me cry at the moment of birth, especially if it was a difficult or risky delivery.

Our own birth day experience was also beset with difficulties and risks. Early on in my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with chronic hypertension and put on a blood pressure lowering medication. For several months, the medication worked to keep my blood pressure within the normal range. Although everything else was normal, I had to have more frequent ultrasounds and fetal non-stress tests to monitor fetal growth and activity, because it was considered a high risk pregnancy.

At my 36 week appointment, the doctor discovered a significant amount of protein in my urine for the first time. In addition, my blood pressure was elevated. That day, I was given a large jug and what looked like a plastic helmet to collect all of my pee for 24 hours. On the morning I was to turn in my pee project for testing, my blood pressure spiked higher than it had before, prompting a call to the on-call doctor. He wanted to see me at the hospital to triage the situation. A couple of hours later, they discharged me, because my pressure stabilized, and my blood work came back normal. A couple of hours later, the doctor called with the news that they found even more protein in my big jug, meaning that I had preeclampsia. He scheduled an induction for the following evening, and we began making phone calls.

By the date of my induction, I was at an estimated 37 weeks--3 weeks before my estimated due date and not an ideal time to induce. We were aiming for at least 39 weeks, given the risks and the apparent large size of the fetus. At 35 weeks, she measured between 7 and 7.5 pounds already.

Because of the fear that my mild preeclampsia could develop into toxemia and lead to organ failure and/or seizures, my doctor put me on magnesium sulfate at the start of the induction. They inserted cervical ripening drugs at the same time, explaining that, unfortunately, the magnesium sulfate may work against the ripening and contraction-inducing efforts, because it is also used to stop contractions. In addition, it brought nasty side effects like weakness, sweating and breathing problems. Twenty hours later, after 3 cervical ripening drugs and 5 hours on Pitocin, I was still only dilated to 2-3 centimeters. I developed a worrying pain in my chest and had to be hooked up to oxygen. I could no longer find a comfortable position to lay in, and I was hungrier and thirstier than I ever remember being, having not eaten or drank for about 29 hours, except for ice chips and Popsicles.

And no one told me how much their efforts to check my cervix for dilation would hurt! Each time left me breathless and sobbing. When the once strengthening and 3 minutes apart contractions came to a screeching halt, despite the administration of Pitocin, I asked for my options. The doctor explained that some patients continue trying to induce for 3 days. Another option would be to insert some kind of balloon device up my vajay-jay to stimulate my cervix to ripen further. That works even less often than what we had already been trying and sounded, frankly, unpleasant. The last option was to have a C-section.

For some reason, I thought choosing door #3 seemed like the easy way out. However, the drugs they were giving me were showing no signs of progress, and we could wind up doing it for days and still opting for a C-section in the end. I was tired, concerned about the chest pain and nervous about the preeclampsia and magnesium sulfate having negative effects upon me and Kate.

As soon as I said, "Yes, C-section!" they had C in scrubs and me wheeled into the operating room. My whole body trembled as they administered a spinal that worked in minutes to numb my abdomen and lower body. I felt some pulling and tugging but no pain as they made their incisions. At first, I wondered if I should be feeling anything and grew anxious, until I got used to the weirdness. Minutes after they cut through my abdomen and uterus, they were lifting a white liquid covered being out and suctioning her mouth and nose. She barely cried while the pediatrician and nurses assessed her, so I became nervous as they invited C to come over to take her first photographs. I heard the pediatrician explaining that her oxygen levels were low, probably because of her gestational age and that awful magnesium sulfate. As a side bar, the OB/GYN practice group apparently has doctors who disagree about when to use it, and the OB I saw the day before did not recommend its use for me, but the one on call at admission disagreed.

The longest part of the surgery consisted of the next 35 minutes or so to deliver the placenta and stitch me closed. I overheard the doctors discussing a nodule or nodules they found on my ovary. Ah, the pitfalls of being awake at your own surgery. I was too scared to ask anyone about it until my six-week doctor appointment postpartum. Fortunately, they removed the nodules, sent them along with my placenta to pathology, and everything was normal.

While they finished up, they placed Kate on my chest while C snapped away. His tears started earlier when she was first born. I just stared at her in disbelief. Was she really ours? They are going to let us take her home? Her navy blue eyes wide open and seemingly alert, she stared up at me while blowing tiny bubbles of fluid through her mouth. She was not as big as we thought at 7 pounds, 2 ounces and 19.3 inches long.

They wheeled me into recovery just as I started feeling some mild pain at the incision site. Pain meds, please! Kate only had to stay overnight in the nursery to monitor her oxygen saturation, so they brought her to me again briefly. This time, I felt dizzy shortly afterwards and asked C to take her. Even after all that Vicodin and morphine, I still felt normal and not that out of sorts. However, each time the nurse pushed on my uterus, I reflexively tried to smack her hand away because of the intense pain. I remained on magnesium sulfate for the next 12 hours while I negotiated with the new on call doctor to take me off it before the recommended additional 24 hours. I must have eaten 12 Popsicles by morning. Good thing I am not diabetic.

The next few days in the hospital were a blur of visitors, attempts to breastfeed, and learning the ways of this squirmy newborn. I even thought her cries were unique and cute--"Laaaa, Laaaa!" By the 5th day, I was ready to go home and muddle through with our little family. An orderly ceremoniously wheeled me downstairs to the car with Kate draped across my lap trying to stare at the overhead lights whizzing past her field of view. Gaggles of female strangers were cooing and remarking about the amount of hair on her head as we passed. I felt like I won a prize and was taking a victory lap. I suppose I have.

The Story of Us

2008-10-16T10:28:00.014-04:00

I was ruminating last night over the fact that Kate Monster would not exist if C and I never met. Although he thinks we still would have met somehow otherwise, if it was not for a dating web site, we would have never known each other.

At 25, I moved back to Michigan after completing law school in Indiana to be closer to my parents, siblings and extended family. I felt sad to leave some strong intellectual and emotional friendships behind along with some unrequited romantic love. Most of my high school and college friends had similarly taken career and education paths that moved them out of state, so I had to create a whole new adult social circle.

I reconnected with a few people via a high school alumni site that led to finding a new, close girlfriend and opened the door to all of her many friends. Then I began trying out new dating web sites on and off for 3 years with varying results. I met a guy who revealed he was not wearing any underwear towards the end of our first meeting, a guy who began rubbing my calf over drinks and many others for whom there was no romantic connection. Fortunately, I also got two long time friends out of the deal. Unfortunately, I grew a bit down on finding lasting love, too.

In October 2004, I traveled to California to stand up in the wedding of my good friends, N and S. Their love story inspired me. They complemented each other and built a strong, affectionate and respectful friendship that I admired and wanted for myself. It finally occurred to me that, if they found it after exiting other painful relationships, I could, too. I returned to Michigan reinvigorated and optimistic. One week later, C sent me an e-mail in response to my profile, and we soon began corresponding.

I looked forward to our frequent e-mail banter every day. After about a month, we spoke on the phone and arranged a first date. Having been through this before, I just hoped that we also had an in-person romantic connection.

In early December 2004, we met for dinner and a comedy show in the Detroit area. I spied him waiting and watching for me in his trench coat and blue shirt, adorable blue eyes sparkling. Over dinner, he reached over to touch my arm, and I knew we also shared the elusive sparks. We spent every weekend together after that for a year, switching off between our homes that were over an hour apart. He cooked me fantastic dinners and desserts, introducing me to new wines and new flavors. We planned all of the outings we had wanted to do with someone special in the past and enjoyed them thoroughly.

On the anniversary of our first date, he proposed with his Grandma's antique engagement ring, we moved in together 3 months later, and we married on an uncommonly warm April evening 16 months after he proposed.

Kate Monster

2008-10-15T14:49:00.004-04:00

So, this is our daughter and only child at one day old shot by my husband exactly eight weeks ago. We affectionately refer to her as the "Kate Monster," not because she resembles a monster (whatever that means), but because I relaxed into a final decision to name her Katherine and call her "Kate" while watching the character of the same name perform in Avenue Q, http://www.avenueq.com/about.html, the musical, in celebration of our first wedding anniversary. At that point, Kate was still snug within the confines of my four month pregnant uterus sippin' that amniotic fluid, making me nauseous and noxiously gaseous. (I will seek retribution later in her life by passing gas in her general direction. This will teach her to be a proper lady like me.)

Katherine was also one of my husband's favorite great aunt's names and on my lengthy list of potential girls' names that my husband narrowed down to two. Who knew agreeing on a name would take such effort? Her middle name, Rose, is an iteration of my maternal Grandmother's name and her mother's Armenian name, "Sirvart," which translates to "love rose." We recently discovered that the name combination is rather common in that the owner of a local eatery has it, along with a work friend's dog. Hmmmm....I am sure she will express her uniqueness in other ways. Or we could rename her Kumquat.

Welcome to the Blogosphere!

2008-10-14T11:41:00.004-04:00

This posting of one's happenings to a blog is new to me, so please be patient with my first attempts. My intent is to create a one stop shop for updates regarding our little family for our extended family and friends. And if you think that we are cute, witty or smart because of it, feel free to let us know about it.