Newborn Wrangling Advice.

As many people are fond of saying, newborns do not arrive home from the hospital or birthing center with an instruction manual, much to the chagrin of newly minted parents. And most prenatal classes focus on pregnancy and labor and delivery with one session on "newborn care." In fact, my Mom told me that she attended many Lamaze classes in the seventies and read all sorts of pregnancy literature, but it slipped her mind to learn or read anything about childcare before I arrived. Luckily, her Mom was there to teach her the ropes.

Almost as soon as the home pregnancy test displays a plus sign, well-meaning folks begin dispensing with parenting advice. Swaddle your child to help her sleep/swaddling your child can cause SIDS, Co-sleeping is best/Co-sleeping is not safe, respond promptly to all her cries/let her cry herself to sleep (i.e., the Ferber method), follow the CDC's immunization schedule/avoid some immunizations, do XYZ to help your child sleep through the night/allow her to develop her own sleeping schedule, feed her on schedule every 2-3 hours/feed her on demand, etc. The only consistent messages we hear: 1. Do not shake the baby, 2. Back to sleep, tummy to play, 3. Use a rear-facing car seat until at least 20 pounds and 12 months old, and 4. Breastfeeding is good. What I learned in my short tenure as a Mom is that one size does not fit all, and people are extremely opinionated about these issues, but it is a good idea to at least listen to it, do your own independent research, and decide what works best for your family.

So far, we are blessed with a relatively predictable newborn who does not cry inconsolably for three hours a day (the hallmark of true colic.) Farts loudly and frequently while whining in displeasure? Check. Burps loud enough to cause a room full of day care workers and children turn around and take notice? Check. Produces enough spit-up to fill a bottle nearly every day? You betcha!

For us, we found the following advice most useful:

• Dr. Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD: http://thehappiestbaby.com/. He explains that the first 3 months of life are really like the 4th trimester of pregnancy. To soothe your newborn, you must create an environment similar to the womb by using the 5 "S's": Swaddling, Place baby on her Side or Stomach, Shushing her in her ear, Swinging, and Sucking. Kate responds best to swaddling, sucking her pacifier and swinging, but sometimes the others help ease her to sleep or at least out of a cryfest, too.

• White noise. Our friend, M, suggested investing in a white noise machine to help Kate fall and stay asleep, and it totally works. We bought ours from Target: http://www.target.com/Conair-Infant-Sound-Machine-SU7/dp/B000EXTWHA/sr=1-15/qid=1225119387/ref=sr_1_15/179-3486258-1850628?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Awhite%20noise&page=1.

• Learn how to decipher the difference between her cries. Kate actually makes different noises and exhibits different body language when she is hungry vs. overtired vs. in pain. http://www.parents.com/baby/care/crying-colic/why-is-baby-crying/. One Australian woman even studied many newborns for patterns in their crying: http://www.babyzone.com/baby/nurturing/crying/photos_decode_baby_cries/2. 1. "Neh/Nah" means hungry, 2. "Owh" produced with a mouth shaped similar to a yawn means tired, 3. Repetitive "eh-eh-eh" means "burp me!", 4. "eeerrrhhh" means she has gas, and 5. "heh" means she is uncomfortable. Once you learn the sounds and body language specific to your baby, it is sometimes possible to catch the request before it escalates to screaming.

• Most helpful books: What to Expect the First Year, by Heidi Murkoff, http://www.whattoexpect.com/store/ProductDisplayDetail.aspx (the infant care bible) and Baby Bargains, by Denise and Alan Fields, http://www.windsorpeak.com/babybargains/ (find out what gear is best for your money and what you can skip.)

• Most helpful web sites/magazines: http://www.parenting.com/ (home of Babytalk and Parenting magazines and covers nearly every child care topic and controversy in a non-judgmental way); http://www.parents.com/ (home of American Baby, Family Circle and Parents magazines); What to Expect the First Year, http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/landing-page.aspx (companion to the book); ivillage, http://parenting.ivillage.com/; CDC Vaccinations, http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/ (get the facts); American Academy of Pediatrics, http://www.aap.org/ (child health and safety); U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, http://www.cpsc.gov/ (check for baby gear and toy recalls), the La Leche League, http://www.llli.org/nb.html (breastfeeding advice and support).

• Sign up for newsletters and coupons at baby product web sites and stores like Target, Walmart, Babies 'r Us, Gerber, Similac, Enfamil, Pampers, Huggies, etc. Each company wants to get you hooked on their product or store, so they will give you free samples and coupons at every turn.

• Do not forget to take care of yourselves postpartum. Moms and Dads need to eat right, find romantic time together, time apart, and try to find time for exercise, even if you do it with your newborn. I am already kinda laughing at the notion of playing patty cake with Kate while doing lunges, but hey, I am willing to try it. She already thinks her Mommy is a bit nuts.

I am sure there is more that I just cannot recall at this moment. Please feel free to share your advice and/or favorite resources.