2008 Holiday Newsletter

The 2007 Reviews are in…

"You masterfully use the mature ego defenses of intellectualization and humor to delight the reader in your annual newsletter. Love it!"
--Jeanette N., Psychiatrist

“This one was your best yet. Hilarious and informative.”
--Gloria L., writer and editor

“Very funny!”
--Erin L., State Court of Appeals Law Clerk

“I have been looking forward to it all year! :)”
Michelle W., Parochial School Teacher

“There’s so much hilarious stuff in here that I don’t even begin to know how to respond. Who knew that a lawyer and a post doc could write/edit comedy so well?!! Well done!”
Lori L., Economic Development State Employee

“Great newsletter--I laughed, I cried, I felt dirty, scared and nostalgic....who knew your words could do so much?”
Kortni F., Pain Management Doc
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The Dana family had a fairly uneventful 2008. We only found out we created human life, rushed ourselves to the ER/urgent care 3 times, passed one kidney stone, delivered one baby, cheered on Michael Phelps as he won 8 Olympic gold medals, created a family web site, www.danafamilycircle.blogspot.com, helped the US elect the first President of color, watched gas spike to $4.00/gallon and then back down to $1.50; we worried about the continued viability of the Big Three auto manufacturers, Chris began working as a wedding photographer on weekends and became a stay at home Dad during the week.

A Visit from the Boob Fairy

I have never in my life hoped that I would puke unexpectedly (or at all, really) or poked my boobs to see if they ached almost to the point of causing them to ache. Then I did. For Christmas, I received a new set of inflated boobs that were even noticeable to Chris. At Chris’s urging, I took a pregnancy test that morning, and 2 lines appeared.

Almost immediately after I confirmed the results with a second test, I began to experience the bloat from hell. It was 10 times worse than eating too much chili. I began hoping that my office mate would stay away after the holidays a bit longer, so I could more discreetly fart and relieve the pressure.

Kim’s Deranged Stomach

January marked my first month of pregnancy. Things were humming along, and I did not feel any different, except for an occasional cramp. Then, in February, I realized that I would not escape the nausea fairy. One Slate article used an ages old term for morning sickness: "deranged stomach." Another pregnancy book called it "progesterone poisoning." In any event, I definitely felt deranged and poisoned—night and day. My writhing and moaning was not sexy, according to my darling husband.

Neither was my, at times, unexpected and rotting corpse-like flatulence. Our cat, Kanu, slept curled around my butt one night. The sound and force of the gastric discharge startled him out of a dead sleep, and he soon chose less odiferous quarters, reported Chris--this from a person who once caused me to wake up and scream from the sound of his half awake belch right into my ear.

Our Little Peanut

Our first OB appointment was scheduled a bit too early in the pregnancy at 8 weeks. Medical personnel, including the doctor, desperately tried to locate a fetal heartbeat using a Doppler without success. At one point, the OB had her finger in my vajayjay pushing up against my uterus with my head facing the floor and my feet in the air. Still nothing. Impressed with my own dexterity, I was quickly whisked away for an ultrasound. They immediately detected the heartbeat, and we were able to see the peanut-sized fetus and beating heart on the monitor. This made me cry.

Observations of a Pregnant Woman

The number of pregnancy no-nos baffles me. It is a wonder that we eat and drink anything other than personally purified water direct from a known aquifer that was blessed by the Pope and organic vegetables personally grown in a toxoplasmosis-free soil. Being the natural rebel I am, I had dental x-rays and a root canal, occasionally ate raw sushi, feta cheese and unheated lunch meats, drank diet beverages and caffeinated tea. We are also instructed not to sleep on our backs for fear of cutting off oxygen supply to the fetus. During pregnancy, I slept in a tangle of body length pillows and wedges that increasingly threatened to expel the cats and Chris from the bed each night. Regardless, and to Chris’s chagrin, I often wound up on my back snoring by morning.

As pregnancy progressed, I belched and farted liberally, slept too much, acquired bigger boobs and gained all my weight in my gut so that it hung over my waist band. I also scratched myself all over, b/c of my stretching skin. I became convinced that being pregnant is like being an overweight, middle-aged man…with a fetus.

We Now Know what we Don’t Know

For much of July, we attended childbirth education classes and toured the maternity ward. We learned breathing and comforting techniques, child care methods and misconceptions and later term maternity care. It was useful and nice to be among 30 or so other couples going through the same things at the same time, but most of the information presented could be found in the literature I already read. Basically, we commiserated over how little we knew about what to do once our bundles of joy arrived. I found this oddly reassuring.

Kidney Stones, Childbirth, or Both?

Also in July, we rushed to the emergency room in the early morning hours one night. Although the overnight valet at the hospital thought otherwise at first, we were not there for me. Chris was experiencing severe flank pain reminiscent of the kidney stone he passed several years ago. A CT scan confirmed that he did, indeed, have a stone, and it was rather large. The ER doc referred him to an urologist after controlling his pain, sent him home with at least 3 prescriptions designed to relieve his pain and help the stone to pass. Hours after returning home and taking the prescription medication, Chris began having an allergic reaction. Back to the ER went we. He was fine in a few hours.

While getting prepped for surgery to remove it, Chris decided against it, and we went home. A few days later, after a particularly bumpy ride on Orchard Lake Road and drinking one beer, the 7 X 5 mm stone passed on its own without incident. Thus, my nightmares of both of us lying on adjoining hospital beds like a scene out of a medical drama were dashed.

Around the same time, I experienced an extremely acute urinary tract infection. Knowing that it could harm the baby, we rushed to urgent care. The pain and urgency were intense, and I was scared. My blood sugar spiked high, and they found signs of protein as well as bacteria in my urine. Thankfully, I saw my OB a few days later, and the sugar was gone, no significant protein detected, and my infection was under control.

A Kate is Born

Katherine Rose Dana was born at 6:13 PM on Tuesday, August 19, 2008. She was 7 pounds, 2 ounces and measured 19.3 inches long. More details of the “Birth Day” can be found here. Photos from birth to present are constantly being updated here: www.chrisdanaphotography.com. Most commented on how much hair she had and how much she looks like her Daddy. My Dad, Brother, Sister, Stepdad and Mom all stayed overnight in the waiting room to meet Kate as soon as she was born. Chris’s Mom arrived two days later to help get our house ready for her arrival home and meet her new granddaughter.

My Mom and Stepmom also helped us out in our early days home from the hospital. Many of you visited us in the hospital or upon our arrival home and brought us great comfort and cheer, gifts and dinner. Others sent us gifts, good wishes and love from afar. Thank you all so much!

Boot Camp for New Parents

Nature has a way of training new parents for the immense task of parenthood early on. I like to call it Baby Boot Camp. Along with the general “do I know what I am doing?” fears of new parenthood, there is also the near constant sleep deprivation. Yeah, that. One late night/early morning when Kate was only a few weeks old, we both awoke to her hungry cries over the baby monitor. Chris popped awake and immediately leapt to action. Remembering that it was my turn to feed her, he handed me the burp cloth and said, “Here. This is grapefruit juice. She has had it before. She likes it. It’s good for her.” In my sleep-drunken state, I started to nod my head and say “OK,” when I realized that: 1. She did not eat or drink anything since birth except for breast milk and formula, and 2. He did not hand me anything resembling juice. A few nights earlier, Chris woke up in an agitated state and began frantically searching his pillow for Kate. I am still unsure of whether he thought he accidentally put her inside of the pillow case, or that she somehow escaped her crib, crawled into our room and leapt into our bed on her own. One month olds are crafty that way.

I may laugh at Chris’s expense, but I also exhibited some symptoms of the sleep deprived. During her first few weeks of life, we could not get her to sleep for more than one to two hour stretches, so we each took shifts to get consecutive hours of sleep. While on my 3 AM to wake- up shift, I attempted to pour pre-made formula into a Playtex drop-ins bottle. I did this maybe 3-4 times, each time with the formula spilling in large quantities onto the floor below. All the while, Kate’s hungry wails grew more insistent, and I began cursing the bottle, the formula, etc. Alarmed at the clatter downstairs, Chris came to see what was happening. I was pouring the formula into a bottle holder without a bottle liner to hold it. Repeatedly.

Basic Training

We swaddled, we pacified, shushed and used white noise. When she favored a particular pacifier or toy, we went out to buy out the store of them. Spit up stains were like badges of courage. We felt like baby whisperers. Eventually, Kate fell into a better sleep schedule and was sleeping in 5-8 hour stretches by about 2 months of age. Then she caught a cold and an antibiotic-resistant ear infection in daycare, and our confidence was shaken a bit. After 3 rounds of antibiotics and expelling a quantity of phlegm that even disturbed the people at the day care center, she was cured.

Like her Momma while pregnant, Kate is not shy about passing gas. Her burps cause a room full of busy daycare workers to turn around and take notice. Her farts could be blamed on uncouth, burly men with names like Bubba or Lefty. How that much noise escapes from such tiny holes is another natural wonder. Early on, she earned the monikers of "Gaseous Clay" and "Vladimir Pootin'." The cats are still nervous wrecks from the noise.

I’ve got it Covered

I planned on breastfeeding nearly exclusively for as long as possible. Unfortunately, nature had other plans. Kate would not latch on properly and would fall asleep soon after starting a feeding or cry intensely after a short time latched on. I asked every one of my nurses in the hospital for help, consulted with 3 lactation specialists in and out of the hospital, pumped every 3 hours, took herbs and drugs to stimulate my breast milk producing hormones, and I could still only pump ¼ of an ounce 3 weeks into motherhood. I grew so used to quickly pulling out my boobs, thinking about allowing easy access to my boobs and having others handle and comment on my boobs that I lost nearly all senses of modesty where they were concerned. Fortunately, I taught myself not to do this when I returned from maternity leave. At least there are great formulas on the market now, and Kate is growing and thriving well.

Daddy Daycare

In December, Chris ended his post doctoral research position for the Biochemistry Department at MSU and began staying home full time with Kate. Now, neither she nor we are catching some kind of bug every other week. And he is picking up more wedding photography assignments on weekends, which he enjoys, along with playing the violin with the Mason community orchestra. I am happily back to work full time. It is far less work than staying at home.

Gasp…I own a Minivan

In November and December, we fueled the waning economy with several large purchases. Horror of horrors, we bought a minivan. I never thought I would own one, but I am also all about being practical. I could not squeeze my fat arse in the back seat of my Accord with the car seat and diaper bag to tend to a complaining infant. Also, the mandatory equipment that comes with a baby is a bit too large for my trunk to bear. Parenthood is admittedly easier with a minivan.

I also replaced my dead laptop, finally got new glasses (our cat basically gnawed my old ones), bought a snow blower, and a chest freezer.

Kissin’ Babies

I know; I know. Most of this newsletter is consumed with new parenthood. It kinda changed our lives. However, there was also a Presidential election and great economic uncertainty this year. There were pit bulls wearing lipstick, or were they pigs? There were plumbers with six packs named Joe. Can I call you Joe? Perhaps most importantly, amidst the auto maker and financial bailouts and horrible violence in Mumbai and elsewhere, there is a new optimism in the US and around the world along with the upcoming change in administrations. I don’t know about you, but I am rooting for a better 2009 and beyond, especially now that Kate is here. Happy New Years to you and your family. Let’s do and be more!

Content edited for humor by Chris Dana
Muse: Kate Dana

Farewell "Handsome Rascal"

On December 30, 2008, my maternal Grandfather, Edward Kourken Torossian, died at 85 after a heartbreaking 2-year battle with lymphoma, chronic infections and heart failure. I am grateful that his suffering is finally over, because his vigorous and passionate nature withered slowly away during this time.

He was the tallest guy in the room (in many ways), and his booming, animated and professorial voice filled it. He bravely served as a bomber pilot in WWII whose B-24 was once shot down in France. He held strong opinions on nearly every topic and current event and deeply enjoyed engaging in spirited debates with any willing and able opponent. He reveled in elaborate orations and singing songs from his youth. He celebrated and enthusiastically shared his Armenian heritage in food, drink, dance and values.

As his first and oldest grandchild, I fondly recall being lifted heavenward over his head, hugging his long spindly legs as a toddler, calling him a "handsome rascal," marveling at his size 14 shoes and strong muscles, learning to throw a punch and to stop saying "like" after every word as a teenager. I enjoyed eating his homemade madzoon (Armenian yogurt) on everything and anything, going caroling together on Christmas Eve, arguing about politics, talking about a healthy diet and fitness, jogging together side by side, the value of hard work and compounding interest, and eventually, introducing my newborn daughter to her Great-Grandfather. The photo above depicts their first meeting.

He was married to the love of his life for over 60 years, Rosalie, had 4 daughters, 6 grandchildren and one great-granddaughter, our Kate. Also surviving are one older sister and brother-in-law and his niece and nephew.

Visitation will be from 6-9 PM on Friday, Jan. 2, and the funeral will be on Sat., Jan. 3 starting a 9:30 AM, both at St. John's Armenian Church, 22001 Northwestern Hwy., Southfield, Michigan.

Santa is Pissed.

Santa looks pissed. Perhaps it is the bad economy. Kate does not look so pleased herself. We stood in line at the mall today to get this photo taken and then later discovered a line-less Sam's Club Santa shortly afterwards with parents taking their own photos. Wholesale Santa photos. Who knew?

Holiday Spirit

I neglected to post a photo when Kate recently turned 3 months old. So, instead, you get one taken over the past weekend more in line with the upcoming holidays.

It is becoming easier to coax a smile out of her with the help of her now favorite toy--a wrist rattle with a small red monkey face. Bonus points if you make "ooh-ooh, aaah, aaah" monkey sounds while holding it in front of her. In fact, I think C had to crop out Mr. Monkey face in this photo.

We not only took our family portraits, but we finally put up the Christmas lights and decorations this weekend. Kate looked fairly amused at the tree but soon turned her attention back to Mr. Monkey face instead. We also found out that, after three rounds of antibiotics, her ear infection is finally gone! Also, she now weighs 13 pounds, 8 ounces--almost double her birth weight.

Stir it Up Michelle Obama!

Leslie Morgan Steiner, a former writer for the on line version of the Washington Post, offers this interesting commentary about the possibilities for our new First Lady of Color: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/24/steiner.michelle.obama/index.html. Whether you stand at the right, left or center of the aisle, you must admit that she is right about the Bush ladies fading into the background. For goodness sake, controversy and expressing one's opinions will not kill a person. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what issues Ms. Obama chooses to speak up about. And being a recently inducted working mother, I would also like to see her tackle work/life balance issues and work on getting our family and medical leave laws changed to require paid leave for a period of time that rivals other industrialized countries. Perhaps I should start a new blog entry on that issue alone?

Talking Katemonster

I Want my Mummy!

Here is a cute photo taken by her day care provider, Ms. Cyndi, last week. You cannot see it, but her onesie underneath the bib reads "I Want my Mummy!"

Unfortunately, we found out that Kate had an ear and sinus infection to add to her upper respiratory infection around Halloween, so we have been busy administering medication, going back and forth to the pediatrician's office and wondering how many times it is appropriate to call their 24-hour help line to ask a sick baby question. It also turns out that she does not fuss that much when she is in pain, so we have to be super vigilant in picking up on her signs of discomfort.

We did not find out she had a problem, until day care called to tell us she had mucus oozing out of her eyes. You may be thinking--how appropriate for Halloween. It can indicate infection elsewhere in the body. Cue anti-bacterial eye drops and antibiotics. Unfortunately, we were back in the doctor's office a few days later only to find out that her ear infection was likely Amoxicillin-resistant. Hopefully, the stronger antibiotic will do the trick. She has been sleeping and eating well; she just gets fussy at times, and we give her infant Tylenol to help with the ear ache. It broke my heart a few days ago when I discovered her whimpering and taking short, quick breaths. Luckily, she is no longer doing this. Le sigh.

She did manage to paint a mini-pumpkin and a piece of art work in day care, to watch her Daddy carving our big pumpkin and to help us pass out Halloween candy (if lying snugly wrapped in her blankie on Daddy's lap counts as helping.)

Newborn Wrangling Advice.

As many people are fond of saying, newborns do not arrive home from the hospital or birthing center with an instruction manual, much to the chagrin of newly minted parents. And most prenatal classes focus on pregnancy and labor and delivery with one session on "newborn care." In fact, my Mom told me that she attended many Lamaze classes in the seventies and read all sorts of pregnancy literature, but it slipped her mind to learn or read anything about childcare before I arrived. Luckily, her Mom was there to teach her the ropes.

Almost as soon as the home pregnancy test displays a plus sign, well-meaning folks begin dispensing with parenting advice. Swaddle your child to help her sleep/swaddling your child can cause SIDS, Co-sleeping is best/Co-sleeping is not safe, respond promptly to all her cries/let her cry herself to sleep (i.e., the Ferber method), follow the CDC's immunization schedule/avoid some immunizations, do XYZ to help your child sleep through the night/allow her to develop her own sleeping schedule, feed her on schedule every 2-3 hours/feed her on demand, etc. The only consistent messages we hear: 1. Do not shake the baby, 2. Back to sleep, tummy to play, 3. Use a rear-facing car seat until at least 20 pounds and 12 months old, and 4. Breastfeeding is good. What I learned in my short tenure as a Mom is that one size does not fit all, and people are extremely opinionated about these issues, but it is a good idea to at least listen to it, do your own independent research, and decide what works best for your family.

So far, we are blessed with a relatively predictable newborn who does not cry inconsolably for three hours a day (the hallmark of true colic.) Farts loudly and frequently while whining in displeasure? Check. Burps loud enough to cause a room full of day care workers and children turn around and take notice? Check. Produces enough spit-up to fill a bottle nearly every day? You betcha!

For us, we found the following advice most useful:

• Dr. Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD: http://thehappiestbaby.com/. He explains that the first 3 months of life are really like the 4th trimester of pregnancy. To soothe your newborn, you must create an environment similar to the womb by using the 5 "S's": Swaddling, Place baby on her Side or Stomach, Shushing her in her ear, Swinging, and Sucking. Kate responds best to swaddling, sucking her pacifier and swinging, but sometimes the others help ease her to sleep or at least out of a cryfest, too.

• White noise. Our friend, M, suggested investing in a white noise machine to help Kate fall and stay asleep, and it totally works. We bought ours from Target: http://www.target.com/Conair-Infant-Sound-Machine-SU7/dp/B000EXTWHA/sr=1-15/qid=1225119387/ref=sr_1_15/179-3486258-1850628?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Awhite%20noise&page=1.

• Learn how to decipher the difference between her cries. Kate actually makes different noises and exhibits different body language when she is hungry vs. overtired vs. in pain. http://www.parents.com/baby/care/crying-colic/why-is-baby-crying/. One Australian woman even studied many newborns for patterns in their crying: http://www.babyzone.com/baby/nurturing/crying/photos_decode_baby_cries/2. 1. "Neh/Nah" means hungry, 2. "Owh" produced with a mouth shaped similar to a yawn means tired, 3. Repetitive "eh-eh-eh" means "burp me!", 4. "eeerrrhhh" means she has gas, and 5. "heh" means she is uncomfortable. Once you learn the sounds and body language specific to your baby, it is sometimes possible to catch the request before it escalates to screaming.

• Most helpful books: What to Expect the First Year, by Heidi Murkoff, http://www.whattoexpect.com/store/ProductDisplayDetail.aspx (the infant care bible) and Baby Bargains, by Denise and Alan Fields, http://www.windsorpeak.com/babybargains/ (find out what gear is best for your money and what you can skip.)

• Most helpful web sites/magazines: http://www.parenting.com/ (home of Babytalk and Parenting magazines and covers nearly every child care topic and controversy in a non-judgmental way); http://www.parents.com/ (home of American Baby, Family Circle and Parents magazines); What to Expect the First Year, http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/landing-page.aspx (companion to the book); ivillage, http://parenting.ivillage.com/; CDC Vaccinations, http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/ (get the facts); American Academy of Pediatrics, http://www.aap.org/ (child health and safety); U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, http://www.cpsc.gov/ (check for baby gear and toy recalls), the La Leche League, http://www.llli.org/nb.html (breastfeeding advice and support).

• Sign up for newsletters and coupons at baby product web sites and stores like Target, Walmart, Babies 'r Us, Gerber, Similac, Enfamil, Pampers, Huggies, etc. Each company wants to get you hooked on their product or store, so they will give you free samples and coupons at every turn.

• Do not forget to take care of yourselves postpartum. Moms and Dads need to eat right, find romantic time together, time apart, and try to find time for exercise, even if you do it with your newborn. I am already kinda laughing at the notion of playing patty cake with Kate while doing lunges, but hey, I am willing to try it. She already thinks her Mommy is a bit nuts.

I am sure there is more that I just cannot recall at this moment. Please feel free to share your advice and/or favorite resources.

Two Months Old!

Our Kate Monster suddenly became a 2 month old this past Sunday. She is 23 inches long (75th percentile) and 11.5 pounds (60th percentile.) She was 8 pounds, 13 ounces and 21 1/4 inches long one month ago.

Unfortunately, she also has a cold. I was surprised to learn that infants typically suffer from 6-10 upper respiratory infections per year--more in day care settings. At least she is building up her immune system early!

She also endured her first major round of vaccinations well. We held her hands, she screamed briefly, and then C distracted her with her bottle. Perhaps my telling her that it would only hurt for a few seconds proved ineffective.

Birth Day

While on maternity leave, I often watched the Discovery Health Channel to avoid the many talk shows, soap operas and mind numbing female-centric TV movies that dominate daytime television. They have a string of shows concerning pregnancy and child birth. One called "Birth Day," http://health.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=62.5711.107816.14984.13, chronicles a pregnant couple's big day in the hospital and never fails to make me cry at the moment of birth, especially if it was a difficult or risky delivery.

Our own birth day experience was also beset with difficulties and risks. Early on in my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with chronic hypertension and put on a blood pressure lowering medication. For several months, the medication worked to keep my blood pressure within the normal range. Although everything else was normal, I had to have more frequent ultrasounds and fetal non-stress tests to monitor fetal growth and activity, because it was considered a high risk pregnancy.

At my 36 week appointment, the doctor discovered a significant amount of protein in my urine for the first time. In addition, my blood pressure was elevated. That day, I was given a large jug and what looked like a plastic helmet to collect all of my pee for 24 hours. On the morning I was to turn in my pee project for testing, my blood pressure spiked higher than it had before, prompting a call to the on-call doctor. He wanted to see me at the hospital to triage the situation. A couple of hours later, they discharged me, because my pressure stabilized, and my blood work came back normal. A couple of hours later, the doctor called with the news that they found even more protein in my big jug, meaning that I had preeclampsia. He scheduled an induction for the following evening, and we began making phone calls.

By the date of my induction, I was at an estimated 37 weeks--3 weeks before my estimated due date and not an ideal time to induce. We were aiming for at least 39 weeks, given the risks and the apparent large size of the fetus. At 35 weeks, she measured between 7 and 7.5 pounds already.

Because of the fear that my mild preeclampsia could develop into toxemia and lead to organ failure and/or seizures, my doctor put me on magnesium sulfate at the start of the induction. They inserted cervical ripening drugs at the same time, explaining that, unfortunately, the magnesium sulfate may work against the ripening and contraction-inducing efforts, because it is also used to stop contractions. In addition, it brought nasty side effects like weakness, sweating and breathing problems. Twenty hours later, after 3 cervical ripening drugs and 5 hours on Pitocin, I was still only dilated to 2-3 centimeters. I developed a worrying pain in my chest and had to be hooked up to oxygen. I could no longer find a comfortable position to lay in, and I was hungrier and thirstier than I ever remember being, having not eaten or drank for about 29 hours, except for ice chips and Popsicles.

And no one told me how much their efforts to check my cervix for dilation would hurt! Each time left me breathless and sobbing. When the once strengthening and 3 minutes apart contractions came to a screeching halt, despite the administration of Pitocin, I asked for my options. The doctor explained that some patients continue trying to induce for 3 days. Another option would be to insert some kind of balloon device up my vajay-jay to stimulate my cervix to ripen further. That works even less often than what we had already been trying and sounded, frankly, unpleasant. The last option was to have a C-section.

For some reason, I thought choosing door #3 seemed like the easy way out. However, the drugs they were giving me were showing no signs of progress, and we could wind up doing it for days and still opting for a C-section in the end. I was tired, concerned about the chest pain and nervous about the preeclampsia and magnesium sulfate having negative effects upon me and Kate.

As soon as I said, "Yes, C-section!" they had C in scrubs and me wheeled into the operating room. My whole body trembled as they administered a spinal that worked in minutes to numb my abdomen and lower body. I felt some pulling and tugging but no pain as they made their incisions. At first, I wondered if I should be feeling anything and grew anxious, until I got used to the weirdness. Minutes after they cut through my abdomen and uterus, they were lifting a white liquid covered being out and suctioning her mouth and nose. She barely cried while the pediatrician and nurses assessed her, so I became nervous as they invited C to come over to take her first photographs. I heard the pediatrician explaining that her oxygen levels were low, probably because of her gestational age and that awful magnesium sulfate. As a side bar, the OB/GYN practice group apparently has doctors who disagree about when to use it, and the OB I saw the day before did not recommend its use for me, but the one on call at admission disagreed.

The longest part of the surgery consisted of the next 35 minutes or so to deliver the placenta and stitch me closed. I overheard the doctors discussing a nodule or nodules they found on my ovary. Ah, the pitfalls of being awake at your own surgery. I was too scared to ask anyone about it until my six-week doctor appointment postpartum. Fortunately, they removed the nodules, sent them along with my placenta to pathology, and everything was normal.

While they finished up, they placed Kate on my chest while C snapped away. His tears started earlier when she was first born. I just stared at her in disbelief. Was she really ours? They are going to let us take her home? Her navy blue eyes wide open and seemingly alert, she stared up at me while blowing tiny bubbles of fluid through her mouth. She was not as big as we thought at 7 pounds, 2 ounces and 19.3 inches long.

They wheeled me into recovery just as I started feeling some mild pain at the incision site. Pain meds, please! Kate only had to stay overnight in the nursery to monitor her oxygen saturation, so they brought her to me again briefly. This time, I felt dizzy shortly afterwards and asked C to take her. Even after all that Vicodin and morphine, I still felt normal and not that out of sorts. However, each time the nurse pushed on my uterus, I reflexively tried to smack her hand away because of the intense pain. I remained on magnesium sulfate for the next 12 hours while I negotiated with the new on call doctor to take me off it before the recommended additional 24 hours. I must have eaten 12 Popsicles by morning. Good thing I am not diabetic.

The next few days in the hospital were a blur of visitors, attempts to breastfeed, and learning the ways of this squirmy newborn. I even thought her cries were unique and cute--"Laaaa, Laaaa!" By the 5th day, I was ready to go home and muddle through with our little family. An orderly ceremoniously wheeled me downstairs to the car with Kate draped across my lap trying to stare at the overhead lights whizzing past her field of view. Gaggles of female strangers were cooing and remarking about the amount of hair on her head as we passed. I felt like I won a prize and was taking a victory lap. I suppose I have.

The Story of Us

I was ruminating last night over the fact that Kate Monster would not exist if C and I never met. Although he thinks we still would have met somehow otherwise, if it was not for a dating web site, we would have never known each other.

At 25, I moved back to Michigan after completing law school in Indiana to be closer to my parents, siblings and extended family. I felt sad to leave some strong intellectual and emotional friendships behind along with some unrequited romantic love. Most of my high school and college friends had similarly taken career and education paths that moved them out of state, so I had to create a whole new adult social circle.

I reconnected with a few people via a high school alumni site that led to finding a new, close girlfriend and opened the door to all of her many friends. Then I began trying out new dating web sites on and off for 3 years with varying results. I met a guy who revealed he was not wearing any underwear towards the end of our first meeting, a guy who began rubbing my calf over drinks and many others for whom there was no romantic connection. Fortunately, I also got two long time friends out of the deal. Unfortunately, I grew a bit down on finding lasting love, too.

In October 2004, I traveled to California to stand up in the wedding of my good friends, N and S. Their love story inspired me. They complemented each other and built a strong, affectionate and respectful friendship that I admired and wanted for myself. It finally occurred to me that, if they found it after exiting other painful relationships, I could, too. I returned to Michigan reinvigorated and optimistic. One week later, C sent me an e-mail in response to my profile, and we soon began corresponding.

I looked forward to our frequent e-mail banter every day. After about a month, we spoke on the phone and arranged a first date. Having been through this before, I just hoped that we also had an in-person romantic connection.

In early December 2004, we met for dinner and a comedy show in the Detroit area. I spied him waiting and watching for me in his trench coat and blue shirt, adorable blue eyes sparkling. Over dinner, he reached over to touch my arm, and I knew we also shared the elusive sparks. We spent every weekend together after that for a year, switching off between our homes that were over an hour apart. He cooked me fantastic dinners and desserts, introducing me to new wines and new flavors. We planned all of the outings we had wanted to do with someone special in the past and enjoyed them thoroughly.

On the anniversary of our first date, he proposed with his Grandma's antique engagement ring, we moved in together 3 months later, and we married on an uncommonly warm April evening 16 months after he proposed.

Kate Monster

So, this is our daughter and only child at one day old shot by my husband exactly eight weeks ago. We affectionately refer to her as the "Kate Monster," not because she resembles a monster (whatever that means), but because I relaxed into a final decision to name her Katherine and call her "Kate" while watching the character of the same name perform in Avenue Q, http://www.avenueq.com/about.html, the musical, in celebration of our first wedding anniversary. At that point, Kate was still snug within the confines of my four month pregnant uterus sippin' that amniotic fluid, making me nauseous and noxiously gaseous. (I will seek retribution later in her life by passing gas in her general direction. This will teach her to be a proper lady like me.)

Katherine was also one of my husband's favorite great aunt's names and on my lengthy list of potential girls' names that my husband narrowed down to two. Who knew agreeing on a name would take such effort? Her middle name, Rose, is an iteration of my maternal Grandmother's name and her mother's Armenian name, "Sirvart," which translates to "love rose." We recently discovered that the name combination is rather common in that the owner of a local eatery has it, along with a work friend's dog. Hmmmm....I am sure she will express her uniqueness in other ways. Or we could rename her Kumquat.

Welcome to the Blogosphere!

This posting of one's happenings to a blog is new to me, so please be patient with my first attempts. My intent is to create a one stop shop for updates regarding our little family for our extended family and friends. And if you think that we are cute, witty or smart because of it, feel free to let us know about it.