Helicopter Parenting.

This article by Nancy Gibbs of Time Magazine discusses the new fangled concept of "slow parenting," where you allow your child free play time and do not constantly hover over their every activity and learning opportunity. C and I have discussed this numerous times. Parents who overschedule and constantly push their children may be doing them a disservice. The freedom to actually be bored births some of the most creative boredom busters and sparks independent thought. While I can relate to and understand the inclination toward helicopter parenting, I am glad to see a cultural shift in the works.

Whether born out of necessity or on purpose, I often had time to do nothing as the child of a single parent. Although I was not athletically talented or predisposed, I spent hours riding bikes through our neighborhood with my best friend, watching the dreaded TV and writing and tape or video recording our own newscasts, choreographed dance routines and plays in her parents' basement. We even kept journals, wrote poetry, sang and played instruments. We did not attend a regular dance, music or gymnastics class outside of public school, and Gymboree did not exist. However, we were able to explore our own interests, cultivate creativity and test the boundaries of our independence. As teenagers, Chris volunteered caring for autistic infants, and I helped clean up a local river. He also played the violin, began learning German and cultivated his other, varied interests, and I acted, sang and hosted a high school radio show.

Kids may also benefit from being allowed to fail, get hurt and fight their own battles. Not once did my Mom intervene on my behalf to argue a grade with a teacher. And I would have been absolutely mortified if my Mom ever argued with my college professor or attempted to negotiate my starting salary with an employer! If I felt strongly enough about it, I knew that it was my job to do so, or I could simply work harder to prove myself the next time. While I agree with the author that immunizations, car seats, seatbelts and bike helmets are rational methods of reducing risk to children, I also agree that trying to shield them from every possible harm, no matter how remote or improbable, is irrational.

These are interesting revelations for me, because, by all accounts, my Mom was an overprotective and nervous Nelly as a parent. She was one of the first moms in the 1970s to insist on the use of a child car seat and fought with her parents and in-laws about it. When I was a baby and toddler, she was afraid of letting me fall and get hurt, or that I would catch a cold from an inquisitive stranger at the grocery store. She constantly read books and talked to me as an infant and toddler, exposed me to boy-centric toys, taught me "Free to Be You and Me" and told me I was smart and beautiful all the time. And she was terrified when I learned to drive and rode in cars with teenagers. But, she must have eventually let go or learned to live with the fear. I hope we can, too.